It was afternoon
You were sitting with your friends
I was on my own, with my dessert
You ordered a dessert as well
You came over and took a bite of mine and I had a bite of yours
It started to become a beautiful story…
I was very happy for the first time in a way, way too long of time
But until then…
Two and half months later
You started to ignore me for weeks
I waited and waited
And waited even more
I pondered hard, what did I do that made you treat me this way?
You said you love me, which baffled me
We never spoke of this, but I waited long enough to send you a text. You finally responded. They were breakup texts when we were not even exclusive then.
I came over to your place. We chatted. It was civil. It was honest to god the hardest thing I had to deal with a guy. It was you that I wanted to fight for. But you seemed so comfortable to what was happening. Then you said you would keep in touch.
Several months passed I dated other guys, but my feelings for them were not even close compared to what I felt for you. Strangest thing was that somewhere in the back of my mind I knew you were not the one for me. I wanted you, anyway.
There would be days I would be reminiscing how I laughed at the thoughts of our time together whenever I left your place. Tingles from the kisses would still lay on my lips. I couldn’t focus, couldn’t study, and couldn’t stand still. My whole self was as if it was a magnet that I pulled away from. It was aching to go back.
God, I know for sure you had feelings for me. I also know your career was your main priority. You deserve to follow your dreams. I just wished you admitted your feelings for me. It would put my mind to ease that I was capable to love when I did the same.
You taught me things, you showed me how to be more comfortable in my skin. I accepted that the fact I knew you I learned more about myself.
I think all of this was one of crucial yet significant life lessons. I thought I would not be able to handle a committed relationship, but not anymore. I know I just have to find the right one. Because I wanted to call you mine.