I got a lot to say

I got a lot to say

I got a lot to say


I am not sure why I am writing you. I guess I just have a lot to say and I have gotten tired of keeping it in. Frankly I don’t know what the hell is wrong with

you as a person, as a soul, as a demoness as whatever you are, but I think there is something seriousely wrong with you. No one has ever wronged me like you have. No one has ever hurt me like you have, let me down, disapointed ruined my life like you have done. And honestly I do not know why you have done it. I would love to know.

When I told you I wanted to marry you I meant it.At that time I really did mean it.

Now I can not imagine what the world would think of me if I married or even talked

again with a woman who did to me what you did. Honestly I hope you stop. I hope you

stop ruining men’s lives because if there is one thing wrong with this world it is you.

If you really want to help the world so much you should probably kill yourself. If you

really want to help all those poor kids in Africa you should probably make sure they

never meet you because you are a wretched wretched whore of a woman and they have better

values than that. They don’t need you. I don’t know what happened to you Jade. When I met

you I thought you were one of the best people I had ever met, and one of the sweetest

kindest young women I could imagine. And that is why I fell in love with you. Maybe you

were always a cold sinister evil bitch but I never knew it. Not until I read your report

to the police to help them put me away. I had to reread it for months. I couldn’t digest it,

couldn’t accept it was real. Just thinking about it would make me crazy. You are truly an

idiot. I will say that too. I would have married you, i would have loved you and given you

a life you will never have, and never even be able to imagine with anybody else. I am your

soulmate Jade, and you sold out your soulmate. All so you could whoreyourself to some imitator

on wall street. You don’t even deserve the truths I am telling you right now so I will stop.

But if there is one thing I want you to know Jade it is this. Do not under any circumstance

expect to be able to come back to me. DO not under any circumstance think that I will always

be there for you. I will not always be there for you. No more. No longer. You made it clear

to me how little you care for me. How little you respect and value me. In fact I can see that

you actually wanted me dead. Sometimes when I think about the tragedy of this I want to kill

myself. How could my own soulmate do all this to me? how could she be so decieved by everyone

about me? How could she be so blind about us? How could she be so stupid? Or failing all of that

how could she be such a pathetic weakling and a coward? That is what I really would think of you.

I alternate between thinking that you are literally mentally retarded and just plaih evil. Which

is it Jade?

As you probably know I am still under arrest in Florida. Your lies alone continue to hold me

under arrest in Florida. In fact your lies have destroyed my life and mind. Everyone that I

have met in the last two years laughs at me, persecutes me and tortures me based on the lies that

you have told. My own family is no longer interested in keeping me alive no matter what they may

say due to the fact that they actually believe that I am a stalker. THat they actually believe that

I am just a psychopath who met you on facebook. That you are just some sweet innocent terrified

poor girl who I harrassed and abused.  IT has been now almost a year and a half

since I came to Florida to pledge my love to you and ask you to marry me. Life is hard for

me Jade, and it is not getting easier. Every day I live I miss you. Every day I live I am

heartbroken about what happened and didnt happen. Every day I am haunted and tortured by the

thought of you still with Cal and other men. I am so desperate to be near you that I actually think

that I am dying. And I have felt that way for two years now. Why have you done this to me?

Why are you torturing me like this? What kind of drugs areyou on that you do not feel this

same way?

Whatever. Like I said I don’t know that I could ever be with you again without some seriously

disastrously conflicting emotions that I would not want.

But I guess I just want you to know that you have ruined my life.Absolutely through and through

ruined my life. And it has been one of the most wicked things I have ever seen on this earth

I have witnessed assasinations, stabbings, rapes, beatings, and what you have done to me tops

the list as  the most wicked thing that I have ever experienced. If you are some kind of minion

of Satan then I suppose you would be proud of yourself. so carry on. But if you are a human, someone

who is really interested in being a good person then know this Jade…looking sweet and kind is not

what being decent means. Being decent means helping someone out when they need it. When they really

need it. And standing up for what you believe in. Helping your friends and family. Not being afraid to

put yourself out there a little bit Jade.

First of all you are a moron. You failed to recognize the significance of our relationship.

That is complicated and i am not interested in going into it. If you were a sane smart person

you would have invited me to live with you or better yet gone with me to Nepal so I could get you

a job teaching some people who really need it.

So where are you now Jade, run off to South Africa again? I see you work for a Childrens Radio

Foundation.  Left your Tom and Huck to the dogs? or do you have a whole new Tom and Huck now?

How many cycles away are we? I guess you probably just have a new Huck. I guess Cal will never

go away huh. Well to tell you the truth you never should have been with him at all. You should

have waited for ME. And as soon as you met me you should have told him it was over and meant it

and never gone back. But we are on the wrong subject. I wanted to tell you how you could have helped

me this year but did not.

    YOU CALLLED THE POLICE ON ME. WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU? then you actualle lied to a judge

about being a fraid of me to get an order that would justify my life being ruined. THat I never even got

a copy of, that you held in your purse like some kind of pepper spray when we were in Central Park. Then

you lied to policewomen about me threatening you on the phone. So that is really where it started.Then you lied

to the mental health people saying that I was just overly infatuated with you after meeting you and not that

i had been sharing your bed at your parents house in Forida over the holidays, that you had told me I was

your soulmate and that you loved me. etc etc etc. (sorry for being so innocent)

So then I am in the Bellevue Prison mental hospital and all it takes for me to get out is for you to come

forward and tell the truth…but you wont. You wont do it. You play like im some psychopath still and the DR

is totally sold on it. She wants to be sold on it because you know what? she likes me…

And did you come and visit your soulmate a single time while he was in there? And did you help him at all?

And did you call me when I finally got out? Did you go to court and admit that you lied?

Then I am so upset with my ruined life and being apart from you that I send all kinds of letters to you that

night telling you of how little i want to live if you are not in my life , and that I have to try to get you

back in my life somehow and that I will do it, i will get a job etc etc etc

I just couldnt take it anymore, the next morning i felt it stronger than ever,  I loved you so much I had to

see you I had to ask you to marry

me, at least I had to ask, and if you said no i could put the matter at rest/  two people like us just shouldnt be

apart and we had to make it happen so I took a bus to the airport to go down here to meet you and ask first thing as

I saw you.

But they have me arrested, those wicked rotten shallow people who are your parents have me arrested saying I esccaped

from Bellevue. ANd what do you do? YOU GO ALONG WITH IT!!! “I Have many more emails if they will be of any use to you”

in jail they hate me for my charge about you, they try to kill me, they try to rape me, even my own lawyer wants to sell

me out to the state. She hates me too, because I am the stalker of some poor young girl. SO off I go to the Geo prison where,,

i dont even want to discuss it. But they interrogate me daily and tell me I would have killed you if they hadnt takem me inside

that i was just going to get out and try to kill you anyway.  I was tortured. I wont go into it but I was tortured jade

and if I would ask why are you doing this to me “because you were stalking Jade” you were threatining her, you were trying

to hurt her. That is why. now take it.

and every single day for the last two years i speant wondering when you will contact me, when will you come to help me out

when will i ever be able to see you again. It never gets easier, itnever will,. You are the one for me. and if i can not have

you ten my life will not last much longer. one way or another i will die. stop trying to put me in hospitals goddamn it. i want to die

in peace, there is no one who an change this. They can put me in an empty padded cell and take my underwear away but i wil die som

how if i am not with you and that is just a fact. THe sad thing is that after all you have done to me and al themen you have

betrayed our love with i am not sure i would even want to be with you again. so death is my only hcoice it seems. ill go on writing

my obituary.


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