Dear Ex…

Dear Ex…

Dear Ex…


This is how we started. With simple hi-hello’s you have captured my heart. I’ve learned to love and care for you. But the saddest thing is do you also felt the same way towards me. It was very painful letting you go and accepting the fact that we should separate ways.I felt that I should have tried better and be more understanding. But time has passed and I just can’t go back to the days when you were still mine.

Its very difficult for me to go on everyday knowing that there would be no more texts or calls for you, no more us. I simply missed you and I don’t know what I should do to cope with it. I tried to focus on my work after our break up but every time I remember those little  things that we used to do. It simply tears me apart. The moments when I could still hold you, embrace you, and kiss you. It just hurts. It deeply hurts. Its very hard to sleep at night when all I think about is you and what could we be doing if we didn’t broke up.

All I could do is cry and regret that night when i said that we should broke up. Right now, I couldn’t wish for your happiness because I know I wouldn’t be there anymore.It may sound selfish but I wouldn’t want to see you with somebody else aside from me. Sorry. It deeply hurts that when I see you, you make me feel that I was just a stranger so unknown to you. It almost kills me inside knowing that I love you but you never loved me. How I wish I should have tried better to prove to you that I am someone you could also love back. But now, its just a dream I wish I could get over with.

Everytime I sleep at night, my subconcious always dreams about you. How I was so close to you and you so close to me but its like there’s a big wall between the two of us. And I would just woke up feeling the pain from the inside not knowing how it would mend. Everyday, I was puzzled on how I could go on and continue my life knowing that you’ll never be apart of it anymore. It’s so damn hard but I would always pray that God would give me strength to accept the fact that I was just somebody you used to know. Its acceptance that I would always pray for but not forgetting. Because I know that it is very impossible for me to forget you, but I would like to have that feeling of being able to start again knowing that you will not be there anymore for me.

I am so sorry for not being the girlfriend you want to have. Sorry for wasting your time with me. It hurts to know that I’ve just wasted your time when to me it was so precious knowing you where beside me.

For the last time, I would like to say thank you for the happy moments we used to share. It made me feel so appreciated. You gave me the feeling of not being alone, that having a companion towards this so called life would make my journey worthwhile. You made me realized that it would be bettter to have someone to whom I can share my thoughts, feelings, and ideals. And I will surely missed that, missed us.

I love you and I will always will. It was very painful for me to accept that you didn’t accept another chance from me. It was so damn hard that you never want to be with me anymore. For the many times, I tried to understand that maybe you just couldn’t see your future with me. But this makes the least sense of all.

Goodbye. How I wish it would be just that easy to move on and accept the fact that you will never be with me anymore. But I know someday, I will be whole again. I just need some time for myself.

Just always remember, I love you and you will always have a part of me:(


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