I am lost.

I am lost.

I am lost.

Hi Paul,

It’s been a week since you last contacted me and this week has been an agony…

We ve been so happy together, all this time, I am rememnering our first meeting, how well we were getting along from the very start, good time we had in Moscow, Cologne, Spain, London…Our New Year`s eve, your birthday, our plans, our talking on skype every night about everything and nothing…Only on Thursday last week you were planning to buy a dishwasher when I move in with you and on Friday I was receiving nasty messager from YOUR cell from your ex wife, who is MARRIED…

She started to contact you more often after she found out you were seeig me and that you were happy with me. She couldn`t let you go, she wanted you to be available to her any time…And then she wrote you she had cancer…and that her husband was too weak to support her…You told me then that you`ll talk to him but that I was your life..And that she`d had it already before and had fought it..That she was tough..You saw me off, I flew home, we talked again every day…and then..on Friday…she says you told her she`s the only one…

What changed your mind just overnight? We were so happy together, you were so much in love you said it hurt…What now? CHanged your  mind? But why not  a word from you? why not tell me? I was your life…and you sill are mine…I`m walking like a zomby, can`t eat, read, work, nothing is important…Hurt…so much pain…How could you do that to me? Why didn`t you answer my e-mail? I wasn`t cursing you of complaining, just asked for an explanation, I have the right to know what is going on…

I don`t know how to survive, it was such an unexpected blow…we haven`t been thorouhg, it was stil the romantic perioud, we didn`t get bored with each other and we had so many plans and things we wanted to experience together?

Don`t I deserve a closure if you decided you want to be with her? what about her husband? will be damped as well?

I really can`t grasp it, the whole situation is sick…maybe you asked her to write to me? No,,,she`s very controlling, she must have taken the cell…

Where are my pictures you put on the nightstand? Flushed down the toilet?

and my picture from your laptop screen is gone too of course..

Why didn`t you delete me from skype? I can see you got my letter…no answers..only questions..and so much pain…

maybe you don`t answer because you want to be able to return> maybe you don`t know what to do> but if so we should discuss things.

I miss you so much , I want you to be with me…I want to know the truth and scared to know it …

Maybe you can`t leave her because she`s ill…

Please talk to me!!!

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