Its been years, Its been three but who’s counting?
Wow, Three years later & I’m still thinking about “us” or lack there of. I’ve heard lots of things about you since the day, Some good & some bad. I heard you moved on, you got married! Wow! congrats! Some days I wish it was me still, But most days I don’t because I know you’re happy & at the end of the day that’s all I can hope for isn’t it? I still talk about you, I still dream of you.
I remember falling in love with you like it was just yesterday, we we’re early into our freshman year of high school, You we’re the star football player & I well I was the new girl that hid from the crowd, I remember you asking me out, You were so nervous it made my heart melt, I remember saying yes than looking in your eyes & just knowing than that this would be it, you’d be the “one”. The first six months were the most easy, We spent every waking moment we could together, finding an excuse to find your hand on mine & next to me just the touch of your skin, Never getting sick of one another not a fading smile, You literally become my other half, We were attached at the hip. That feeling of unconditional love is something I’ll never forget because you taught me to love other, not only to love others but to love myself when it was to hard for me.
Than our one year hit we we’re still joint at the hip one without the other was not an option, Than it was summer, our first summer together it was amazing, it was the summer I lost my virginity, that summer was nothing but love, I was fifteen and in love, Not to long after that it was our sophomore year, our relationship was stronger than ever, I couldn’t have loved you more, soon after that the fights started in, the jealousy, the rage, the hate, we took breaks decided to see new people, I dated you didn’t, but no one could deny the love that was there.
we spent the next year or so dating off & on. I wish I would have told you what I wanna tell you today. I wanna tell that I love you more than anything even after I walked in on you cheating on me, I wish that I would have fought harder, to show you that I love you, That im deeply in love, but what you need to know now is that I forgive you, I don’t hate you. love harder everyday work hard don’t give up on your dreams.
Know that you’re a beautiful person inside & out, your mom has always been wrong about you, you’re so smart & nothing has ever made me think other wise, make sure your wife knows how lucky you are, make sure she holds you every night & she tells you how much she loves you & how lucky she is because I know how lucky she is because I was the stupid girl who gave up to soon. I needed you to know that im sorry for not loving you everyday that I had you, for not telling you thank you enough, for not making sure you knew how amazing and smart you were. Make sure she loves you the way I should’ve.
I hope you have a good life MarioBear.
Love,
Your first love.