To all the women I loved before

To all the women I loved before

To all the women I loved before


Dear Women of my past,

I thought the world of you. I loved you. I would have stayed forever if you would have kept me. But as they say the cheese stands alone… I would like to thank you all for the experiences. I’ve had quite a few exes but I would like to focus on three of them. In 2012 I was severely overweight and my self esteem was very very low. I met a women who from day one I couldn’t stop thinking about….until she finally asked me for a piece of gum and we went from there. She was attached but in the process of leaving the relationship. We spent a lot of forbidden time together…..mostly just having sex and going out occasionally. I fell in love hard, I met her mom, sister and brother. It felt real.. but in the end she ghosted me never told me why and left me a real mess. I went further into depression and gained more weight.

Then I meet Number 2….. she was at the “end” of a relationship or so I thought. What I thought was sincere turned out to be nothing of the sort. She was pregnant when we started and I was more than excited to be there for her and cater to her needs. This turned into 3 wasted years ending in her marrying the person she was with originally. I won’t play the victim here because i never gave her my all because her situation didn’t seem over as she said it was. However, I still loved her and enjoyed what we had. Number 3, single completely, total opposite of who I usually date and THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I HAVE EVER SEEN. I have never tried so hard in my life to make a relationship work.

It was a new experience for her she never dated a woman before so it was new. She wanted to be secretive and I was cool with that. I just didn’t see any way forward for our relationship. She wouldn’t tell her older kid or properly introduce me to him. She introduced to her little one but of course he was too young to figure it out. I meet her sister but she just thought I was her friend and her mother thought the same. I didn’t see that she took me seriously because of her private ways. I ended it when i could and regretted it after. 💔 I just want you three ladies to know that I love you all dearly and I don’t regret a thing. One taught me that people will hurt you and never depend on anyone too much. Two taught me to love myself and get in shape!! Three taught me to have fun and live life to the fullest!! Thank you all!! Love Ash.

1 Comment

  1. JPH(the_fool) 2 years ago

    Ok the first one was GE, my Latin goddess. Fucking gorgeous,sexy, complete goddess in the sack. But she was my first love(well I thought I new what love was). GB will Always have a place in my heart no matter what happend between us and I actually dropped to 180 while trying to get at GB. So know I gained weight in county
    Now number 2 came when I got out of county, this was XR, we had sex the first time when were coked out and began messing around untill about 3 weeks ago so like 3 years. I’m not sure she was just a warm mouth and didn’t mean nothing to me.
    Damn know there’s number 3😍❤️😭☺️😔 yes there’s to many emotions this white shedevil put me through. She was broken and acted tough and strong all the time. Don’t get me wrong she was. But she was also the most gentle and sweet and a fucking cry baby when her stomach hurt in the morning or when she would wake from those nightmares of that evil man. She has my hurt to the fullest even after everything that happend. I would still take you back because no matter what happens or who I end up with. She will be nothing i mean nothing compared to what my fat girl WAS. I’m am sorry for the childish games and bullshit I put you through. No I’m not fully forgiven you for you whorish ways. But if you ever called would I hang up? No I wouldn’t I would answer and hopefully we could talk so I can her about your crazy life. So I can her you tell me to relax. With that damn sluring. So I could hold you from the waist and smell your neck because everything about yoh attracted me. Waking up in the morning and looking at your pale enimic self. I loved to see you open your eyes while the sun shines and flowed off your green eyes. I will always fucking love you even tho I know what I know.

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