hey j,

Its been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve gone over a thousand times what I’d say to you if I ever had the chance. I’d go over so many things and it would always change, so I never really had a clue what I’d say. But I never got a chance to talk to you. And eventually you just became a memory, something I liked to think about every now and then. You became distant and I didn’t even know you anymore. I don’t really know you anymore even now. But I do know what I’d say to you. I’ve come to the conclusion of the few things I would say to you.
I’d let you know that first off, I truly did love you. I loved you more than I loved myself…. That was my first mistake. Loving you more than I loved myself was a big big mistake because when you left I wasn’t sure what to love or even how to love something. But I don’t regret ever loving you. I don’t regret for one moment staying up late on the phone with you or even letting my guard down. Because I loved every single moment I ever had with you.
I want to thank you. Thank you for breaking my heart. You’re probably thinking I’m absolutely crazy right now but you breaking my heart was the best thing to happen. It hurt me but it helped me learn. It showed me how to love someone while you have them and to always tell them you love them because you never know when the last time will be. Thank you for the countless laughs. Thank you for the hugs and the cheering up. Thank you for the sweetness and the memories. You’re now apart of me that I won’t be able to just let go. I wont ever let you go. Even though I wont be the one to physically love you, I will forever love you.
I’m a better person because of you. I cherish laughing because its the one thing I forgot how to do when you left. And when I found it, I appreciated it so much more.
I’m closer to God because of it. I learned how to learn on Him and His understanding, I had the faith of a mustard seed and I did move mountains. I learned how magnificent His love really is for me.
I learned how important family actually is. They were they for me when I was hurting. They were there for laughs when I needed it. I know how much more important having friends is, because I needed someone to talk to and they were always there. Even though I held onto it for too long, they were there.

You’re a blessing to me. You broke my heart and showed me so much more. So thank you, I will forever appreciate the time we had. And I will always cherish it.

I’m letting you go now.
Go. Be happy. And fall in love.

I love you..
♡k.