I miss you every day. I miss your smile that you hated. I miss your lips on my forehead (first time you kissed me). I miss your big brown eyes, the way you would look at me made me feel like the most special person in the world. I miss your back, always putting my hands up your shirt to feel your warm soft skin.

I miss your chest, listening to how fast your heart would beat when we hugged. I miss kissing your hands, all the scars on ’em from being reckless. I miss the veins that would pop out in your arms, sexy arms. I miss the way you would say my name when i was being a brat. I miss your many different goofy characters that would make me laugh until my stomach hurt. I miss the nurturing side about you, you always took care of me.

I miss how you use to always try and play with my belly button even though i didn’t like it then i miss it so much now. I miss the way you would kiss my belly and tell me you loved my stretch marks after having our son, you seen how insecure i was and did anything to make me feel better.

I miss waking up to you staring at me, with my head on your bare chest, probably drooling and snoring here and there, but you still managed to call me beautiful. I miss the way i wasn’t allowed to sleep closer to the door and how you always made me walk on the inside away from traffic. I miss cooking with you, we tried so many different foods together. I miss that excited feeling i would get after not seeing you for so long. I miss those drunken nights with you, they were always filled with so many complex conversations. I miss watching you be the best dad you knew how to be, and you were pretty damn amazing. I miss everything, the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the tears, the laughs, everything.

You hurt me emotionally, you hurt me to the core more then once but i honestly forgive you for everything because everyone makes mistakes when they’re growing and learning, it’s just a part of life. Nobody is perfect but you are perfect for me. Am i crazy for still wanting that heart shaped coffin you always spoke of…Live and die together type of shit. You are my soul mate and i feel like god has been giving me signs to rekindle our relationship. I miss you and i love you so much Papa bear.

– Mama bear