We started dating in high school. We met at a party senior year and things hit off right away. A couple months after the party, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. We had the best times ever. We could laugh and joke like best friends, but we were still madly in love and were very romantic. She went 4 hours away to school, we made it work, visiting each other every two weekends. Long distance was barely an issue because of all the effort we put in and we recognized this. Long story short, we did this for three years and things seemed really good.

Then, she decided to study abroad in Norway for five months. I voiced my concerns (as I believe I should have), I said things such as “I love you so much and I trust you, but Im worried what this trip could do to our relationship”. She always shrugged it off and said “It will be fine, I love you”. The whole time she was there, she was having a blast and things seemed great between us. She got home and she seemed so happy to see me. For a month she kept the act of loving me up. Then she finally said to me one night ” My feelings for you have changed” (I will never forget when she said that, makes me nauseous every time I think of it). She said she started feeling this way half way through Norway. She had felt this way for at least 3 months now and she said she’s mentioned breaking up to all of her friends and family for advice. Heres a person I thought loved me with all their heart and respected me, mean while they faked loving me for three months and didn’t even give me a chance to help her solve this. Its just so weird, one moment you’re laughing and in love and the next, nothing. emotionally numb.

Its been two months now. I still dream of her almost every night, good dreams and bad dreams. Thats the worst part, awake you knows that it’s over and that things wont be the same, mean while asleep you still thinks things are the same or maybe wants it that way. Its an emotional tug of war and honestly Im losing and its draining everything out of me.
I’ve read and hear all of the cliches about things getting better and Im really trying to believe all of those things. Yet, I still find myself wanting her, even though I know that will probably never happen.