Dear bug,

its been a couple months since we last saw each other and we talk on and off and you act like you love me sometimes and sometimes you don’t and its so hard for me to comprehend. Im still in love with you. Yes I know I made mistakes but so did you and I know I broke up with you but I never expected you to not take me back you always did.

you claimed you loved me we were together for a year! how did you lose feelings so quick how did you go against me so fast.. you made me want to just die you had girls wanting to fight me bc they were on your side you told her about personal things I had told you. I’m not trying to bash you bc honestly if you asked me out right now I would say yes but like you said ” im in college now, I dont have time for you anyways ” Explain how did you want to marry me then? how did you want forever, a lifetime. Yes im friendly with guys and I semi flirt I mean its been months since we broke up but I cant date them I cant. If I was to date them they would want to hug, cuddle, kiss, make love etc but that would be wrong if it was you that was in my head when I did those things if I was wishing it was with you.

I cant imagine dating someone else like we were together everyday for year EVERYDAY how am I going to celebrate Valentines day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New years eve & day with someone else?? how am I suppose to have my new years kiss with be with someone who doesnt have your lips😩 I love you so much I know I shouldnt and I shouldnt beg bc it makes you think that you can always hurt me and come back. I mean it has to mean something if you still have all of our picture lord jesus please let us fix this and get back together. Ive cried countless tears over you, I deserve to be with you. I went through hell bc of you. I had depression before and you knew that and with everything you did you pushed me over the edge I had to go to the mental hospital and did you care?? no at least I dont think so. Before I could leave they made me come up with this ” safety plan ” one of the questions is whats something that makes you want to stay alive & I wanted to say you but they wouldnt have let me out bc they knew the reason I was there was because of you. This is so hard my mom says that I shouldnt want forever with you that I should experience other things but I only want you and you dont want me anymore fuck I wish I didnt get attached bc now im fucked