Tyler, it’s been months maybe even a year since you broke up with me. I always wonder if you regret it. You told me days ago how good we were together. And months ago how we still had the potential to be good together. You talking to me still gives me hope that I know I shouldn’t feel because you’re dating someone new. I can’t help but still think of us. The hours we’d spend talking to each other. The promises. The unconditional love. We knew/know each other better than anyone could know us. Any new guy I talk to the first thing I unconsciously do is compare them to you. You were and are the most beautiful thing to me. We’ve been through so much together and hung on to each other through all of those bad times. Like my mom’s death, possible convictions and us finding out you had a kid. So how could you one day say it’s not working. It was hard but it was always working for me. I loved you to much to give up. I needed you too much to give up.
Now we’re not allowed to talk because she won’t allow you. I’m confused because I never over stepped any boundaries, until now. I was just to happy to have you as my best friend than nothing at all, and I couldn’t jeopardize it. I don’t understand what she saw that was wrong. I mean we’re at least 600 miles away and y’all have been together for months before you even started talking to me on a regularish basis again.
While I lay here in darkness, face hot with tears and disillusionment I will admit that I still have feelings for you, I still love you even though you don’t or cannot love me anymore. I have yet to find any closure and I don’t know if I will or if I want too. I am for certain though that you were the best year and six months of my life. You made me a better person.
Sadly, maybe her cutting us off was for the better. Maybe I can forget you this way. Maybe I can come to terms with that not a couple days ago but awhile ago I lost my best friend. It saddens me because I never pictured us ending this way or even at all. I always had a hope that we’d get back together, but that light is fading.
Regardless of how I feel, I want you to be happy. That’ll be enough for me. Your happiness is all I ever wanted.