All I ever wanted was to keep you in my life. I am selfish for that but you were one of the very few that was worth keeping. To this day I wish you can tell me to meet up in a cafe somewhere and just air it out, just get each other on the same page, truthfully and honestly. No bull, no pretending we are perfect. Pure honesty. But your are too prideful for that. I want and still do want to have you in my life. If you really moved on, it wouldn’t have really been a problem because who cares about an extra +1 to your facebook friends. But its not the case, you care but just dont care to admit. your last letter was full glitters of truth but the majority was saying about who you wish you were, not who you are. I am not going to say I dont think of you daily, cause I do and I know I will continue to do so till someone new comes along worth my time. Its okay. We all have our dark pasts. You are that past. Yea I screwed up and called you some bad things but I said sorry and I sent you a sorry gift to express it and your response was disgusting. I spent so much time, so much care into crafting it and so much money. I didn’t get any acknowledgements. You have destroyed too much these past few years, and you dont feel one bit of sympathy. Nothing. Are you even human? You threw a bunch of stuff you did with a guy in my face and expected me to be okay? I blacked out from how upset I was. You slept or tried to sleep with my friend after I said a few words about what I thought of you at that time. And yet somehow, I still cannot control that I care about you. You destroyed my heart, everything about me and I still love you. Not in love but just love. I write this letter for myself and for future me to read and hopefully laugh at. I wish I can say one day that I dont feel anything for you, no anger, no love, no hurt, just stillness, indifference and pity. I recently went up to San Francisco and I fell in love with the city, its people, the vibe and liveliness. Its the place were I am called especially because of the startups. I also have been given an chance to meet a potential investor. But very recently I accidentally stumbled on your dating website and it also said you were in SF. As if hunting me in my head and dreams wasn’t enough, seems like you hunt me in real life. Funny thing is that you are looking for what you already had and left. You won’t get what you got from me; someone who would eat oatmeal everyday to save up to take you out on weekends, someone who spent half his income on an necklace that you dreamed of having instead of using it for rent, someone who visited 3-4 times a semester to be there for you, even when you said you were leaving me, even when you broke my heart. I kept my promise. Whether it was in the 2013 New Years party or on the other side of the country you still hunt me. But I am not letting you stop me from reaching my dreams. If I bump into you, I may loose it and call out your name, I may get sad and cry but I won’t let you destroy the tiny bit of self respect I have for my dream. You see one thing that differs you and me is that I am honest with myself, I am willing to step down from the pedestal and admit I am wrong. You on the other hand will keep pushing yourself as far from the truth as possible just to feel like you win. Well congrats Sean to the life you are living