*Deep Breath*.. I’m scared. But, when I look around me and see that I’m just in a World full of people looking for happiness, I calm down. I calm down because it’s been almost five years. Five Years of me dreaming about you, thinking about you, constantly.. CONSTANTLY thinking about what you are doing, IF you are thinking about me or IF you had a dream about me. I don’t understand why I keep having this feeling of contacting you when it has been SO LONG. I’m afraid.. afraid of letting my guard down. Afraid of letting you in. Afraid of being shut down. You were truly a blessing in disguise. You made me feel like I could be myself. You protected me. Well, tried to protect me, when I didn’t want to be protected. I pushed you away. I regret it but I have to deal with the fact that you found someone worth saving. I didn’t realize I was in love with you until you left. I kept wondering why I keep dreaming about you, I saw you at the grocery store and I FROZE UP. I never done that before. I’ve been wondering if I ever ran into you how I would feel. Anger? Sadness? Bitterness? Jealousy? BUT All I felt was NUMBNESS. Everything around me has never felt so .. so COLD. I never felt this way about anyone before. We never was in a serious relationship because you said you weren’t ready for one but I felt everything that was supposed to be there from the start of becoming one. Ever since I was a child I would wish upon the stars and tell him to show me a sign like a shooting star if I was with my other half, my one true love. That night when we were at the river and you held me close, that shooting star came from the sky, I didn’t know BUT I DO NOW. You have a beautiful soul, a beautiful mind, a beautiful HEART. I know it is too late to fight for you, fight for US. But I just want you to know that I still have feelings for you, and I lov.. I’m still IN LOVE with you. *DEEP BREATH* You’re getting married soon. I had a dream you were telling me she was having twins and how much you love her and how happy you are. I’ve been contemplating on whether to write this letter or not because if I was her, I wouldn’t want anyone to write a letter like this to the love of my life, especially if it was you. She is so lucky to have you and I’m happy for you both. This closure was for me to get this off my chest, it’s been nagging me like a rock in my shoe. God Bless you Adam.
My guardian angel