I’ve tried and tried and tried to move on, but I never will. I don’t want to. For 4 years of my life, you went from a good friend to a close friend, to my absolute soul mate. We did everything together and I’m sure you remember every long nights of staying up late, watching anime and playing video games in our new apartment. Every drive at night, every party, every concert, every smile. Through the thick and thin in both of our lives, we were there to support each other and get through it. We accomplished life goals together and grew up learning about life with one another. And just like that, in a matter of days, I’m nothing to you. Just another annoying ex that wants nothing but to see your smile, your beautiful eyes, hear that heart melting laughter and seeing the joy and sparkle in your eyes. But now he’s living there, sleeping on the bed I let you keep, watching the tv I paid for and kissing you on the couch we got together. While I’m at my parents, room less, sleeping on an air mattress, living like the chain smoking, alcohol drinking scum you’ve turned me into after you cheated on me and forced me out of our life together. It’s been almost 2 months now and it seems I’m in a hole that’s damn near impossible to get out of. I think about you all day, before bed, and I dream about you almost every night, making my sleepless attempt at life and moving on impossible. All I want is you back, to hold me and tell me ‘it’s alright, I’ll love you forever’ again like you used to tell me. And we’d fall asleep together and wake up to smiling at each other again. Just so you know, even when I said I was over you, I’m not, and I never will be…. Forever and always, I love you A