Hello Stranger, coming up on 8 months since you decided to break up with me… the day after you left work to see your ex and coincidentally never came back.

Did you ever imagine how that might make me feel? Did you reassure me I was the only man in you’re life and had nothing to worry about? No you broke up with me stating “I gave up on me I felt I was holding you back. I didn’t mean to hurt you I really didn’t. I truly am the bitch everyone claims I am” or how bout this classic line. “I gave up on me I felt I was holding you back. I didn’t mean to hurt you I really didn’t. I truly am the bitch everyone claims I am…

I will always regret what happened next my temper got the best of me. I honestly felt betrayed at that moment so I lashed out at you regretfully trying to hurt you like I was hurting… that was wrong of me and out of character surely a heavy cross for me to carry. Days after we talked and you assured me you knew I didn’t mean what was said and you even apologized for what you said in the heat of the moment… we hugged and left that night on good terms you even said you still would like to have me in your and the flying monkeys life I felt like I finally found someone who wouldn’t give up on me!! I was wrong flash forward 8 months you have blocked me in every Fashion and even changed you number all while pointing the blame on me now for being verbally abusive you are quite the painter… and taking no issues with how you acted and taking no steps to actually forgive and never once called or made an honest effort to understand, talk and forgive eachother… I tried inviting you to spend time outside of work with mutual friends was only met with resistance and distance even lent you money and you didn’t even say thank you, although you did pay me back with some help of a mutual friend. You say your not ignoring me but have not once tried reaching out to me oh except but 1 time to let me know that would the my last email you send or to deny friend request.

funny thing is I have no resentment towards you and was always there for you and still am!! Last thing I ever wanted in this world was to hurt you and lose your trust… I am merely human and although I pray and ask God for patience and a forgiving heart my emotions got the best of me and it led me seek God further and understand the repercussions of anger I lost my main 2 puzzle pieces and it has taken me months to forgive myself . I was so disappointed in myself for hurting you and i felt awful for it… soon after it went from bad to worse fear you told me you were moving and although I am extremely proud and happy for you I have to admit I was devastated when I asked if you were planning on seeing me before you left? Your response was of course you are going to be the hardest goodbye… you left work that day and said your goodbyes to everyone except me thanks for asking if I needed a notepad nerd lol

I needed to say goodbye to you hug you tight tell you how important you are to me and wish you well… Was I really so bad or just that unimportant? Tried my best daily to raise your spirit I was always there for you when your parents seemed to much to deal with. I assured you it was only temporary and you would eventually flap your wings to stay positive… one of our last conversations I was encouraging you to go back to school and was happy to see your parents were on the same page… look at you now very happy and excited for you just bummed I can’t be involved in your life too!! wish you happy birthday or congrats on wedding your happiness was always my priority even over mine at times but that’s ok I want the very best for you and little man!! pray to God to bless you and your family to fill your heart with his unconditional love and spirit… I’m not here to point fingers or blame I just want to let you know I will always Love you I have no resentment we live,love, learn right? I may never be in your life the way I or you imagined still don’t change the way I feel for you… I forgive you and love you for everything you are and not. never judge you only understand you… I have faith in you and like I always said I’m your #1 fan I will always be there for you in this life and the next you have my unconditional love and support. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers I LOVE YOU

Matsim(ba)