Dear Landon, been a year and half I’m siting here tonight thinking about that mormon boy from Utah that i feel in love with. I think about how we met on hot or not and how first time i say you was so smitten that i could hardly contain myself. i think about first time i snapped you on snap chat looking at that smile think wow how did i get so lucky. or how after a month we got to meet in hawaii where i was stationed.
That first date in the cove with the ocean on south shore where i kissed you and how we at those sandwiches and peppermint bark and mountain dews. I didn’t want to fall for you just out of a marriage and a mormon boy from Utah still in the closet didn’t have a good ending feel to it but i gave it a shot. Remember be driving you the airport singing to you I’ll be by edward mccain and you couldn’t look at me because you were tearing up so i naturally missed the exit to the airport 4 times just to have a moment more. How when you left i cried all the way home because i knew i wanted more. how we knew be hard the miles between us different cultures my fears your fears.
i made mistake i know i let my fears drive me and worried because when you have something valuable you fear losing it. do you remembered all the late night talkings where we couldn’t hang up on each other the moment i told you i loved you or moment i cried when we made love because i knew i loved you with all my heart. what about me inviting you home to my parents in arkansas even though we weren’t invited because i was proud of you and of us we didn’t get chance at normal relationship but we tired so hard.
do you remember the break up and my christmas i had sent you do you remember when i got my uniform ready and made a sign and powerpoint and flew to Utah to show you that our love or how we were worth saving but i never got chance to saw you. Do you remembered the months in-between we didn’t talked but i knew you were struggling so i offered to pay for some of your student loans, what about the 500 you needed for tires and you were going to take out a loan but i offered because how could you let person you love fail all the while you telling me you didn’t know if we were gonna get second chance. what about that 60k you needed to get into nursing school and i gave you a 1k scholarship to help with the cost.
Ive left you alone but you haven’t left my thoughts or my heart we’ve changed i know but maybe that change is something we needed just because we weren’t ready before doesn’t mean this arkansas boy and that Utah boy arnt worth it. you told my friends when i left the table you loved me and own friends told me they had never seen you more happy. I’m Sorry for things i did sorry for the things we went through together I’m sorry i let you down. Hope you know i love ya boobie always have and always will come home when your ready and if you want to take a chance take a chance on this gay marine in love with that gay red head