Hi,
We haven’t spoken in a while. Mainly due to my own insecurity, immaturity, pride, and vengeful attitude.
I’d been in a rampage of hatred toward you for months. You lied to me, I held it in, and let it eat me away completely. Even out of anger, I never took my mind away from you. And I can’t stand it. It’s toxic, sickening, and extremely unhealthy.
I don’t know why you felt the need to lie. I don’t know if you ever cared, even though I was falling so terribly hard for you. I don’t know what you actually thought; if you meant anything you said. I don’t know if I’m hung up on someone who genuinely loved me and wanted a future with me, or just wanted a quasi girlfriend for a while.
There are so many unanswered questions that I’ll never get an answer to. It keeps awake. It robs my time, and it hinders me from moving on. I wish I could just forget. I wish I could have a partial lobotomy that removes the memory of you. Normally when I end things with a person, I wait until I’ve exhausted every possibility of trying. With you, it was an impulsive, erratic, and anger-ridden decision. Probably the right one. I just wish there was a proper goodbye or semblance of closure.
This sounds very similar to my situation in reverse. Has he reached out to you at all? Have you tried talking with him? In my case, I would love to talk through what happened and don’t have that opportunity. If he is anything like me, perhaps he would love to at least talk with you.