Dear Kyle
A year and a half we spent together. 3 proms, the countless dates, funny movie nights, random sleep overs, the Goodmorning texts the goodnight calls everything. I miss it all. Sometimes I want to just text you and apologize for the way I acted when it was over between us. I was so rude but it was my way of getting over you. The things I said about you were to help me forget all the good things about you. I reminded myself of all the things you did wrong so I wouldn’t think of the things you did correct. You moving away and going to school was the breaking point we should have known that. You had your life plans all figured out, I had no idea what I was doing. Honestly I still don’t. You are still on my mind it’s been 8 months already . I feel like I should have forgotten about you already. You always promised me you would never leave me. You promised we would fight forever and ever. You were my first love. My first everything. I thought we would end up being friends after. But I haven’t spoken to you in 8 months. We were so happy and I just don’t understand how it ended so badly. How saying i love you to not saying anything. The last weekend we spent together, I’ll never forget it. You were home from school you came over and you asked for one thing so I did… I remember after we were done I looked over at you laying in my bed and said hey you haven’t said I love you. Now we said it constantly and that day he never said it. That Friday we broke up. I felt so used. As a young girl at 6 years old I was sexually assaulted and he knew that was something that was extremely difficult for me to deal with still to this day. I look sex so seriously. I didn’t want to trust someone again and then be taken advantage of. I felt used, destroyed. Vulnerable. I thought you were the good guy. The one that would never do anything like that. You were my best friend Kyle. I miss you terribly. I wish we could have one more conversation. I wish I’d run into you at the gas station. I just wish I could tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for me and you not working like we planned. I just need closure I need you to tell me that your sorry. I need you to tell me that you hope I’m okay and that I’m happy. I need you to check in on me one last time.