Hey Jay,

Listen, I know we haven’t spoken in a while and I shouldn’t still feel the need to talk to you but I do. We broke up over a year ago and so much has happened between us since then but I never thought it would end like this. There are so many things I wish I could tell you, so many times I wish I could’ve been there for you but I can’t even talk to you. It sucks. I’m not going to lie, it really sucks. I didn’t just lose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend too. The person I trusted with everything, the person I knew would always have my back through everything. Despite the fact that I did everything I could to keep you around, it just wasn’t good enough. I know you’re happy with her and I would never want to get in the way of that but I wish you could be this happy because of me. You can call me stupid or pathetic for still being so hung up on this but I can’t let it go. I can’t let you go. Even after all this time, I still love you more than anything. It’s just so hard to move on because you’re the only guy I’ve ever felt this way about. I need you to know that it was never your fault. All you ever did was care about me and support me, I was just too stupid to realize it. I wish I could’ve done the same for you, I wish I could’ve done more. I would still give you the world if I could but it’s too late. You’ve moved on and there’s nothing I can do about it now. I wish I told you how I felt more often, I wish I told you how much you meant to me, I wish I listened more, I wish I told you how much I loved you more often but more than anything I wish I never let you go. I can respect the fact that you had to cut me off to make her happy but I don’t just don’t understand. I don’t understand how a girl you’d been talking to for a month managed to make you happier than I did in the two years we were together. I don’t understand how you could cut me out of your life so easily after everything we’d been through. I don’t understand how you’re okay because I’m still sitting here hating myself trying to figure out how I could’ve messed up so bad. I’m not sure where I went wrong but I would do anything to go back and do things differently. I know I can’t do that and I just have to move on but it’s not as easy for me to do that as it was for you. I think what makes it worse is that I don’t hate you, I can’t hate you. I can’t hate you for choosing her over me because you did what makes you happy. I can’t hate you because you are the sweetest person I have ever met. The nicest, cutest guy in the whole world. Part of me wishes you could’ve just been an ass because it would make losing you 100 times easier. I know you’ve heard this from me a million times, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you. I’m sorry I didn’t fight hard enough for us. I’m sorry that I still love you so much. I’m sorry Jay. I’ll always love you.