To: You know exactly who you are.
So, after 3 years and a half of an amazing love between us, you spontaneously decided to go study/work abroad in Thailand (you were always not happy on what you had, and i can see that now). I, loving you as wildily as i did, said that we are going to go through this long distance relationship and make it work. And we did. It was…horrid, to say the least. Many a months were you in the verge of depression, and i was there. Those two years, not a day passed by that i didn’t facetimed you. I gave you gifts, incoditional love and the most that i could. We were going to marry, and have a small wedding, outside, with our common friends and family. We named our future kids. “You are going to be the father of my children”, you said. “You are the perfect boyfriend”, you said.
When you came back, things were weird between us, obviously. People change in a couple of months, so, i imagine two years. I was in one of the hardest situations in my life (my parents were breaking up, i did terribly bad in college, some of my family members died, stuff like that), and, after all i did to you and our relationship for it to have quality of life, in my moment of need, THE ONE I NEEDED MOST, to just… stop the relationship for two weeks, and let me sort out my messes, THIS ONE THING… you declined.
So, after i told you this and you obliging, not seeing me in pain and distress, kept calling me, worrying me and forcing me to meet with you, when i was in a tough time. You knew this. You…pushed me to the limits, and… to not enter in a depression (thing that i was close to), i had to block you. I know i’m not a saint. This was a mistake, i should’ve gone with you to a couple’s therapist, or just…something. But i was a mess in that specific time. However, even in my moment of personal need, i told you that i was coming back, and i was not breaking up with you, just taking a break. “I am going to contact you in two weeks”. And that’s what i did.
Imagine my surprise when i discovered that: 1 – You cheated on me; 2 – You installed Tinder 3 days after; 3 – You went to get some of your stuff 2 days after (?!). I didn’t eat for 3 days. I didn’t sleep, i cried myself to sleep, as a defense mechanism my body had to prevent sleep deprivation. However, this is not were i am going to write the metaethical premisse on what you did so horribly.
We met up 3 days after when i told you i was going to contact you. I bawed my fucking eyes out, i literally begged you, on my knees, and kissed on your forehead, for us not to break this one in a lifetime romance, and you said “Ok, let’s go again, but in small steps, to not overdrown anything”. I was ecstatic, things were going to be ok.
You then went completly ghost, went to fuck more guys, said fuck you to me and our common friends because we “didn’t give you enough attention” (?) (me and our friends did everything to go out with you and give strength to you), not only didn’t stay a friend of mine when you said “whatever happens in the future, i want your friendship, Ricardo!”, not even an acquaintance. Even your family didn’t even say “Hello” to me, after all the good they said about us. You said we were “not compatible” (?), that you weren’t in love with me anymore (?!) and that we didn’t had sexual chemistry (?!?!?). I couldn’t even say “Are you ok?” without you blowing up on me. I called you on your birthday, and you said that “Maybe, some day, we will be together”. In August, you got a new boyfriend.
After all my life, that was filled with monstrous acts upon me, and i, with great stoicism, went through them, YOU were the only thing in my life that put me in depression. I went to therapy because of you. The world was not filled with people that cared for each other, but that despised each other, to not have faith in each other, and that it was not only a cruel world, but a world were the only person you can count to know truly, is yourself. We didn’t even had the cliché breakup of occasionally sending message to each other. You just, as magic… pretended that our relationship didn’t even exist…
Now, i don’t believe in Karma. There is no “universal law” that brings justice to those who do good, and those that do bad. You are in a relationship with some dude since last August, and i believe you are going to marry this dude. And, if all of this happened to make you finally marry (because you can’t stand being alone. You gotta work on that tho!) the One for you, amazing! I’m happy it happened. However that is not the case. The six months you are together show broken premises already, you don’t love each other, you are far away from one another, don’t have friends in common and already fought alot of times. In your life, you now have almost no friends, in a academic path that you do not like, are always alone, in social media attempting to demonstrate how good your life is, always complaining, and making references to the past, to me and our common friends. Again, i don’t believe in Karma, but if i did, i would expect payback. But, as i don’t believe it, i can only say that i don’t wish you well.
As for me… i’m doing very good. And that’s everything that you will ever need to know, because you don’t even deserve to know my thoughts.
In conclusion: I hope it was worth it. Because, if it wasn’t… you are going to regret this for the rest of your life. That is the ultimate suffering, greater than any heartbreak, bone broken or mean thing to say or do.
I don’t wish you well,
– The One Who Got Away