The truth is, we weren’t ready for what we thought we wanted. We failed to see so many red flags because we were high on love. We loved each other deeply, but our love story had an expiration date. Our pasts, our demons, our mistakes started to creep in,. Maybe, we could have done things differently, maybe we should have tried harder, loved harder, but even if we were to go back in time and try to change things, I think our story would have had the same ending. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be, as cliché as this sounds, it’s very true. We were in love, but we were not meant for each other. I fought so many battles between my heart and mind. My mind would ask me to let you go, but my heart wanted to stay.
When we parted ways, my heart shattered into a million pieces and each broken piece carried a memory of you. You were my drug, I suffered in agony. I had painful withdrawals because you were not my side anymore, my body ached for you.
Losing you, the man who I thought would be my forever was one of worst heartbreaks I have ever experienced. I learned that just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean they are meant to stay in your life forever. That kind of pain made realize that some people only come into our lives for a limited time, love does not always last, that’s not how nature works, nothing lasts forever. I realized that love isn’t something that can heal all wounds. Mine couldn’t heal yours. Yours couldn’t heal mine. You were a soul that visited my heart, a soul just passing by but was not meant to stay. You were a beautiful distraction, and when you left I had to face all my demons head-on.
When you left, I thought my life was over. I thought I couldn’t survive without you. I was back in that dark place I was in when I first met you. I cried for days, weeks, months and soaked my pillow with tears. Despite it all, I regret nothing.
Every day I learn to love myself more and more, I found happiness within myself. I found my self-worth. I found my strength. And I am still learning to live again and smile again.
I learned to let go, I learned to live without you. I learned to move on. I learned how to be happy on my own. The pain and heartbreak taught one of the most important lessons of my life. To be happy alone. A lesson that I tried so hard to avoid but turned out to be one of the greatest lessons. I learned not to let my happiness depend on anyone, and that I don’t need a man by my side to be happy and complete. Thank you for those happy moments and thank you for painful moments, too, because all the pain and frustration I received from loving you became the best teacher I could ever have. It made me stronger.
After you, I finally spend my time reflecting and loving myself first. Now I see that before loving someone else, you must learn to love yourself unconditionally. My heart is finally at peace and I know one day I will feel again, I will love again but in a new and different way.