Dear J,
It’s been 2 years. We stayed friends and it was great at first. I knew it would be hard, seeing your name pop up on my phone, walking past you in the store but if I had known it would be THIS hard, I would’ve let you go, but I can’t. I know it’s hard but I can’t imagine my life without you in it; even it’s just as friends. I still have all our pictures, all the gifts you got me and that song, our song, still makes my eyes water every time it comes on. I wish I would’ve known how hard losing you was going to be. I wish I fought harder to stay together; to make things work. I wish I told you I loved you more, I wish I was there for you the same way you were there for me. I wish I told you I loved you more, I wish I treated every kiss, hug, smile like it was the last. I wish I still remembered the last time we hung out, the last time I told you I loved you or even the last thing I even said to you. I told you to leave, but I wish with every bone in my body I had told you to stay. I’m waiting for the day to see your name pop up on my phone again, for the day you come back to tell me you miss me, you miss us. But I know it’ll never come. I know that you’ve moved on to bigger, better things and I wish I was strong enough to do the same. I wish I tried harder, treated you the way you deserved to be treated. I miss you more than anything but the one thing I wish the most is that you’re happy. I hope you find someone who can give you everything I couldn’t. I hope you fall so madly in love with someone that you hold onto them and never let go. I wish I could do things differently. You made me a better person and I can’t thank you enough for that. I wish you all the best. I’ll always love you, don’t forget it.