How could you lie

How could you lie

How could you lie



There are so many things to say that I think I could write 1,000 of letters and they still wouldn’t totally describe how I feel. As I write this, your promise ring still rests on my bedside table. 3 years of memories and meaning in this one symbolic memento. An item that no longer has any meaning. When I first met you I was pretty broken. Hurt by my ex boyfriend I had a hard time trusting guys and getting close to them because I didn’t want to experience that hurt again. You, you were different. You were my best guy friend and you made me feel so comfortable and confident with myself. You brought me up from the place I was at, helped me deal with my nail biting and food issues and stress that came with school. You helped me deal with roommate problems, giving me a place to stay when I couldn’t stay in the same room as my roommate. You gave me a travel buddy, someone I got to experience up north, Florida, Arizona, France and Germany and the British Virgins Islands with. You gave me a music buddy someone I could make a music playlist for and someone who would appreciate and love every song on it. That music playlist is now deleted. A painful reminder of what used to be I couldn’t look at my music account anymore and needed to delete it. It’s important to emphasize all the things you gave me but there were many things you failed to give me. That I settled for. I poured so much of myself into you, to help you. That you never poured back to me. I lost myself along the way and that left me pretty empty. To think that I thought you were my soul mate is crazy. We took a break to find ourselves. Agreeing to get back together after a month. Instead you found yourself in the arms of another girl. A girl you lied to me about and told me meant nothing, that you would do everything you could do to get back with me and prove she wasn’t worth it. But I hear that you’re still with her. I think you and I must have vastly different definitions someone meaning nothing. I struggle to grasp how you could move on from a 3 year relationship within a week? I struggle to grasp how this break was a way for you to find yourself. Because while I do miss you, I have learned how to be on my own and alone. Something that you wanted for yourself. But you, you didn’t find that. You just found someone else to fill your void.


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