My love is poison to you. My love is sick. I’m glad you ran. You didn’t need to treat me like we weren’t anything; did you forget how you said you loved and adored me? haha. Oh, but I get why you left. I have come to accept that you just didn’t know what you were talking about. Yet, I want to live that lie we build again because I don’t want to ever love anybody else but you. I want to live my life with you. Mi vida es tan insignificante sin ti. I don’t mind if you treat me like an item. If that is all you have to offer ill take it; I’ll be your rug. I don’t mind if you love another and come to me when you’re bored; I don’t mind. I want to be useful to you. I want to comfort you. I need to smell your skin, to kiss your neck under the shower to feel my fingers combing your hair I need you. I want you. Its better than being nothing. I am sick. I need you like I need air to breathe. You’re just a regular man with regular aspirations. You don’t deserve this sickly love. you deserve a woman who has commitment issues like you. A boring, ordinary but attractive woman. Since I cannot be in your life, I’ll dedicate mine to scream to the world all the things I can’t tell you. Its the only way I can bring myself to get up in the morning. After you sent me that coldhearted letter, my mental health has been in a slow decline these past few years. I talk to myself, I call your name out loud numerous times a day. I pretend you with me. I cry in the night. I hyperventilate over mundane obstacles. I have tried the oh-so-very popular advice of loving myself, but I really don’t care about anything. I suppose I’ll have to fake it till I make it. What a nightmare. I want to light myself on fire and be born again. Life is so painful without you. I wish I could erase you from my memories. All or nothing, babe. God, I have hate to burn for a lifetime or two. Fuck. I have an urge to break someone’s heart. I want to make them suffer and cry and scream out of pain like I do for you. ha. I want somebody to hurt you. I hate you for leaving and I love you for the memories and I hate you for the memories but I love you for not getting sick like me. I wish I wish I wish you would face me and apologize. Cobarde. No face.