JA, goodbye

JA, goodbye

JA, goodbye


nly you would understand the references here, even if you won’t believe it. I’ve come to realize you are “pam”, you are “Arthas”. She knew someone loved her, knew he’d have kept hanging on to her empty promises, knew his family loved him enough to actually help him… I watched as he sunk deeper, so did she.. and I realized she cared nothing for him, at all. If she had she would have been the one to set him free, had she cared, but she didnt. I didn’t even know him very well and I couldnt watch his life unravel without sacrificing my only friend to send him on his way to the waiting arms of his family. That’s who I am. But you’re just like her.
You knew there were people out there that cared so much for me that they would help me…people who still loved me enough to do what they could. You said so yourself, I should contact them, you knew. And you knew one of them still wanted me for himself, wanted to hold me and love me, but you didnt want that for me. You wanted me to stay loyal to you…. no matter what. Just like her. Instead of wishing me well and letting me go on my way, you tried to keep me, but just sexually, while allowing others to be there for me emotionally and financially… You’re a total jack-hole for even suggesting such a thing.
And you’re Arthas, going down this dark path. I tried to stop you. Now, I feel like I just witnessed the origin story of a RL villain. Seriously, just because you get taken advantage of doesn’t give you any right to pay it back. Ever notice how those villains were really always a nasty piece of work even before they went all dark side? yeah, u LOVED to say repeatedly and repeatedly “im a good guy, I’m a nice person”.. you weren’t.
I really don’t know who you were trying to convince of that more, me or yourself. I admit to being a lousy human being, with a terrible sense of compassion, but i work on it, all the time, sometimes I fight with myself just to show enough compassion to stop myself from punching people in the nose… but revenge? no, the only revenge I have ever considered was the revenge of NOT letting them ruin the rest of my life! The revenge of moving on with my life without carrying around that hate or bitterness.. that crap will age you, I wanna be old and as wrinkle free as possible, that sounds like my idea of revenge.. to look damn good in my old age and to be happy with my life. Wanting them to come crawling back, just so you can crush them? and then going so far as to leave them with every indication that you would take them back.. setting them up? That’s so many steps over the line into the darkness that I can’t even see you anymore, for all the shadows there. and honestly, I don’t think you’re setting her up half as much as you really do want her to come back so you can and will take her back anyway. I’m sorry, Arthas, I can’t watch you do this. I don’t know who you are anymore, but I don’t want ANYTHING to do with what you are becoming. I tried talking you back into some sanity, some compassion, you’re just too hellbent on your revenge. Not eating properly for weeks? drinking even more then usual, which is a lot for u… this revenge may be the death of you and I will not stand by and watch. I’ve already seen the man I thought I knew you to be.. die , he’s gone.. You should be a villain name for yourself, you gave me mine, Diabla, destoryer of men’s souls.
I loved you, once. Loved you enough to wish you every happiness…
Do you remember the picture you sent me? of the two of you at the casino? showing off your rings?
You meant for that to cut to the heart of me, and it did…. you shouldn’t hurt other people with such evil and wicked intentions… karma. karma. Intentions matter. doing the ‘wrong’ thing with well meant intentions usually ensures your karma doesnt kick you quite as hard….but when you strike out and hurt another with that kind of malice and cruel intentions…. it comes back to bite you so hard, … doesn’t it?
I never meant to hurt you, I’ve only ever tried to escape what I saw as a web of lies, your lies… I didnt think you were good for me, we didnt work.. I still loved you and wanted you to be happy, even if it was with someone else.. but you missed the forest for the trees and didnt recognize the love I had for you, I also had for myself.. that I couldnt allow us to continue.. You rubbed your “happiness” in my face with that picture, you wanted it to tear my world apart, that you were married, engaged, whatever….
Look where you’re revenge got you, then….it got you her…
You N she both let me know, she got the very best of you, when I was always treated as some stupid side bitch and now.. … You treated her ..and all she did was lie to u.. to use you… I wonder now, if that picture you sent me.. does it hurt you even more then it ever…EVER hurt me? karma.
Stop chasing revenge, its already wrecked your world once, dont you see that?
Let it go. Its’ a pvp match and yeah, she owned you…for that moment… let it go and welcome the next moment.. move into the next chapter of your life. I don’t know.. maybe you cant let it go because if you do you know you’ll forgive her and take her back….that would be your karma too…she’ll waste years of your life, keep you from finding your soulmate, give you years of misery and sorrow, leave you feeling worthless and lonely… too heartbroken to consider falling in love again… that would be your karma too…i know because its what you put me through….. kept me from moving on to where I needed to be….Kept me from someone i love so much, I can’t even believe he’s real until he acts like an idiot and i know he’s real! Goodbye.
I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you good bye properly and I had to do it the way i did…but Ive wasted enough time on you…and if you ever see this.. I hope.. honestly hope, u stop wasting time on revenge and just move forward, because THATS where the best things in your life are gonna be waiting for you…
That’s forgiveness and compassion, dont confuse it for anything else.
I don’t love you anymore. I don’t even LIKE who you are anymore.
I never want to speak to you again.
I’m changing my phone number.. there will be no more “unblocking” you.. or you texting from someone else’s phone.
I’m done. I tried to tell you.. brad whats his face said it best.. i’ll take you back…
Not today, satan.. or any other day… never again
If we see each other, I will not have to pretend not to recognize you, because I don’t anymore.
I won’t have to “struggle” to keep my hands off of you.. you disgust me, your soul is tainted and black and evil
but because you still are human somewhere deep inside.. i’ll have enough compassion to hope you find your way back into the light


Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.