I don’t hate her

I don’t hate her

I don’t hate her

I have written my thoughts down several times. I have written in a journal everyday since the first time we broke up. The only times I never wrote anything down was when we were together. You have to see how hard this is for me. I chose you above all else even my children. I chose love, I chose to be with the man who made me feel like I was truly important, that I actually mattered, that I was worth the world. Now here we are and you have lost all attraction to me and some might even say love for me if they witnessed the things you speak to me. No one would honestly believe that you still love me. No one would think that after all you have chose to do that you love anyone but yourself. But this is not about that.

This about how I don’t hate her. She pushed us together, she helped you create something to distract you from the outside life and it led to us even if it was only for a short time. She watched you as the best friend choose a different path other than her. That path that was me and the life we had mapped out together. In a way I’m thankful, she stepped back and she let me have the chance to win your heart even though she loved you beyond what she thought was even possible. She loved you enough to let you try with me, she loved you enough to be there if you needed her as you friend sadly it led to you realising you were in love with her as well. That is besides the point though.

The point is I love you and I want you to be happy even if that means I’m not apart of that happiness anymore. I am making it known that I love you enough to know the best thing to do is to let you go. To let you have your chance down this road with her. If by chance the road is bumpy and too tumultuous for you, please know that I am always here for you. I’m here to be the friend who loves you from afar and if anything ever changes I’ll be here. But for now I need to let you go and I need to grow. I will always love you and will always want you but I need you to know despite everything I do not hate her. She lead you to me.

Love always, 


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