I’m sorry I am an asshole

I’m sorry I am an asshole

I’m sorry I am an asshole

I’M SORRY I push you away by breaking you down into nothing  because of my own faults and insecurities. I am unable to express myself emotionally like a lot of others can…is why I do it…I have a lot of mental issues with my self and I’m sure by now you have noticed them through our 10yrs relationship and I’m sorry I’ve taken our beautiful lives and turned them in to a emotionally abusive nightmare…

IDK how to bring you back to me and when I feel scared of losing you I freak in my mind and try and push you away make you not want me anymore be Cuz at least then I can control the situation and know what’s coming and going to happen and maybe then the heart break will be easier…I know now the things I have said to you to hurt you I will never be able to take them back and that is something I have to live with…the things I say to hurt you are a reflection of the way I feel about my own self…just Cuz I feel that way about my own self gives me no right to make others feel the same I am sorry I did that too you…..

My biggest regrets are not putting your wants and needs in front of my own to of treated you the way I knew you deserved..I thought in my own mind because I work and pay the bills and watch the kids when I can and cleaned the house that I could put my wants in need in front of yours but I know now that is not the right way to go about it…that you deserve more….I will never forgive myself for the ways I have made you feel and what I have put you through emotionally….and from the bottom of my heart I am sorry…just so you know  its not you it’s me that has taken this beautiful relationship and turned it into a emotional wreck…I AM SORRY…


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