S. I hate that I think about you every day. Nothing like I miss you or anything, you just pop into my head every fucking day for no fucking reason. I hope you think about me just as often and how great we could have been. I wouldn’t trade my current relationship for the world which is why this makes me so fucking crazy.

I think I hate you but it’s been so long that that would just be pathetic. You destroyed me. You absolutely fucking destroyed me. I wish I could forget you. I know you made me stronger but you also made me terrified of disappointing people as much as you disappointed me. I cannot cancel plans because of you. I cannot lie to anyone because of you. I cannot handle confrontation because of you. You gave me such terrible anxiety and heartbreak.

I hope one day I will wake up and realise that I didn’t think about you yesterday. I look forward to that day more than any day imaginable, it will feel like I’m finally free of this prison you’ve trapped me in. Don’t ever forget me, I hope I haunt you when you hear that band or watch that movie or go to those places or meet someone that’s just not quite as perfect for you as I was. Enjoy eating meat you fucking liar.