I’m not mad at you for not wanting to be with me, and I’m not mad at you for having feelings for your ex. I am mad at you for being dishonest with me, and for talking to her throughout our relationship and not giving me your full self when we entered a relationship together. I am mad that you would constantly show up late to my house and made us late to events that were important to me even though they weren’t important to you. I’m mad that you took me out for Valentine’s Day dinner and pretended that everything was okay when it wasn’t and then not even having the guts to tell me the truth about Kelsey. I’m mad that I was the one who had to get you to tell me the truth about how you feel about Kelsey and why you really wanted to go to Milwaukee. I’m upset that you would draw your affection away abruptly and wouldn’t be honest with me about how you were feeling when I always was, even if it took me some time to say so. 

I’m happy that you’re doing what you need to do to feel better and finding your own way. I’m glad I got to know you and be friends with you for so long. I’m always going to care about you. But you have hurt me so much. I know I wasn’t the best, I have insecurities and sometimes I let the fact that you were talking to Kelsey affect me. But I wasn’t really wrong in thinking something was going on. I wish you the best, Kevin, and I want you in my life. But you showed me time and time again how little you wanted to prioritize me and it’s hard to be friends with someone who would date someone while still endlessly thinking about their ex-girlfriend. And not consider how I would feel. It wasn’t okay. I want to be your friend but I need time. I feel so betrayed and hurt by you.

But I’m not really mad at you, I know people are complex and it’s hard sometimes to understand your own feelings. I just wish you had been more open with me and considered how I felt more often instead of just thinking about how you felt. But it’s already happened. I want you to have the best life, and I hope someday you can entirely love and accept yourself and give someone the best love that you can. Because I know you can. Because you’re good. I only see good in you even though you’ve hurt me so much. I’m mostly humiliated and mad at myself that I stayed in a relationship with a person who truly, truly didn’t want or value me. I really hope that someday you never worry about how you look or come across, because you are wonderful, you really are. You have so much to give you just have to accept yourself someday. A person isn’t going to do that for you, and a city won’t either. Only you will do that. And I really do wish you the best in Milwaukee because you deserve good.