A sad little melody

A sad little melody

A sad little melody

I don’t know exactly what to say to you. There’s so much on my mind but when the time comes all i can do is smile and wave. It’s pitiful, really. The only reason i haven’t moved on is because i still love you. You’re attractive and charismatic and i miss the attention you gave me. I just cant seem to break off from you, also, because you latch onto me. I was perfectly fine leaving you as just a stranger but you insisted on being friends. Now i have to run away because i cant say no.
I feel like i cant bring it up to you, either, because you’ve moved on. I don’t want to be the ex that stays in love for months and months and months. Hell, you’ve already found someone else. All i want to say to you is just “please leave me alone, leave my friends alone, leave my life” but you wont. My friends are your friends too. So where do i go when i have to run away from my friends?

Just go with that girl, please. Go with her and don’t return. At least, not for a while. I need time and space away from you but that seems the one thing i cant achieve. I know this is a trial of life. I know this is making me stronger. but i feel oh so very weak .

It’s hard because i switch between thinking you were an asshole to me and thinking that you didn’t do anything wrong – you were somewhere in between. You stressed me – at the beginning, it was the good kind of rush that made me feel so excited and alive. but at the end of it, i was so fatigued and emotionally exhausted, and it never seemed to end. You had pulled away from me almost completely and i felt so worthless.
We never quite understood each other. I think that was our major fault. Not what happened, not who said what, but you are a fundamentally different person from me. Our connection was built on romance and courtship and attraction – so it all turned to shit once you couldn’t hold that up anymore. I’m sorry for what happened to you, i am. and its also not my fault.

Seeing you now is.. hard. It’s because i have to be friendly because thats sort of the ditch i’ve dug myself into. Oh well, with time i know it gets better. i’ve sort of have to be my own therapist now. I’m still really young, so i know this wont destroy me. It’s just hard sometimes.
I think there will always be something i have left to say to you, but i’ve said the most important things. i know you’ll never see this. I wish all the best for you, but please? I’d like to go our separate ways.


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