Why are you still in my head? It’s been 6 months today and I can’t forget about you. I can’t forget all the laughs and smiles we shared.
For the first 3 months it was hard, depression, waking up and my heart physically hurting. But the pain has slightly lifted. I still get it once in a while but I’ve gotten used to it. It’s not got easier… it’s just got bearable. 
You were my first proper love, you showed me everything; how to love, what it felt to be loved and most of all how I notice red flags. You cheated on me, you lied to me about who you were meeting, you lied about who you were messaging. You gave me trust issues.
I feel different now. I feel as if I don’t even want to trust my best friends with information I can trust them with. I blame you, you made me feel like this.
I hate opening up to new people and i hate the thought of starting a new relationship because I’m scared of another heartbreak and I’m scared to give someone my trust just for them to break it.

6 months later and I still love you no matter what you put me through. But I know now that i wouldn’t let you back in.