It’s been 3 years and I am back to finish what I needed all the courage in the world to face. We separated because of your choice, you claimed at that time that you were the one hurt. I watched myself sink deep into depression, and heard of your new girlfriend. I blamed myself day and day again, and thought “you should have been mine” – to this day I wonder “what if you were mine?” but recently you came back.
You kept swiping up on my stories on Instagram, you kept watching me. I deleted you off all my socials, and blocked your phone number because unlike you I couldn’t stand the pain any longer and wished to heal. And in that time period ‘He” appeared. I’ll call him “SUNNY” because he was like the light of a new day. The entire year I spent trying to take my life, soaking myself in tears over the pain I felt every moment I thought of you, he chose to love me.
He lived hundreds of miles away, he came monthly to tend to me – when he asked me to be his: I hesitated because I knew damn sure deep down. “I missed you” and sadly as much as I hated you by this point ” I still loved you” he didn’t give up though, and I appreciated it so I allowed my heart to love again. And he loved me, like the Sun keeps this earth warm. He cared for me like I was always his. When I told him of you he only said one thing – and it woke me up ” That’s stupid, why would you do so much for someone who didn’t want you.”
He was right. And now I know more than ever. He was right – because now loving you again feels so wrong. You sent me a post, and I won’t lie : I’m happy you realized you still love me. But you are late, so late. Had you realized this earlier – then i wouldn’t have become “the girl you couldn’t forget”
I do wish you the best though, I hope you find that girl you used to tell me you’d love for 3-5 years and then marry and have children with. I’d love to hear and see it happen. But I can’t lie, I’m so happy that in your love story I got to be the one who taught you again “What love is supposed to be” .
So dears – remember no matter how your love story ends or started : what matters most is what you decide to write in every chapter and how you decide to conclude it. Additionally to whoever reads this, thank you because when I wrote about being heart broken I had no hope but because I wrote it out, I had a chance to filter it and begin again. Don’t give up where ever you are, I’m so happy now that I found the true love for me, and he was worth every second of pain I went through.
Sincerely, The girl you couldn’t forget