A final goodbye

A final goodbye

A final goodbye

Dear Daniel,

Before I continue, I need you to know that I love you. That won’t ever change. And I still don’t get how you could hurt me like this, but I have to let it go. I have to let this love go. I have to let you go.

The last two months have been so difficult. We went from talking everyday to no contact at all. I know it was my decision, but I still wouldn’t have wished for this to happen. You just hurt me so badly I knew this was the only way to move on from you. From past experience I knew I would take you back in a heartbeat if you just said you still loved me. So I had to distance myself. To keep my selfworth. The first time we broke up, it was because you cheated on me. The exact moment you told me that devastating news, that moment I will always remember. But still, I could forgive you. Some other circumstances also played a role, but mostly I could notice you genuinly were sorry. 

But a few months later we broke up again. And I just knew it was the final time. I tried so goddamn hard to make it work, but how was I supposed to when you had already let go? I just enjoyed it while it lasted. Our second breakup didn’t hurt any less though. I now have to live with the fact that we will never talk like we used to anymore, I will never get to hug and kiss you anymore, I will never get to run my fingers through your hair anymore. Mostly, I will never feel again how it feels to be loved by you. But what hurts the most is the fact that it was all your choice. You choose to end things. You choose to end us. And I don’t know how to live now knowing that.

But I also know you brought me so much happiness, and I’ll forever be grateful for that. Without you I wouldn’t have loved life the way I do now, so thank you. Although we’ve had our ups and downs, the love we shared is something I will never forget. It is too special, too rare to forget. Just.. thank you. Thank you for all the memories and all the love. Our love story will always be one of my favourite ones. We didn’t get to do all the things we wanted to, mostly because of this stupid virus, but even without that our story is as beautiful as it is. I also know that I won’t ever meet anyone like you, nobody could compare to you, but I now can accept that. I know that I will always miss your humour and your craziness and mostly your positivity, but that is alright. I will keep this love in my heart and I’ll take it everywhere I go. I now know that some love stories just don’t have a happy ending. And I’m okay with that. 

So yeah, it is time to let this love go, let you go. I will never forget our story and I will never forget you. But this is the end to us. We aren’t meant to be anymore. I do hope that you will find someone really amazing and who is absolutely perfect for you and I hope that you’ll do everything you said you wanted to do. I won’t be there by your side, but just know I am still cheering for you. I really wish for you to live an amazing life and I wish for all your dreams to come true. I won’t be there to see you make it in life anymore, but I still wish for it to happen. It is what you deserve. And believe me, you still are that incredibely positive boy with this amazing personality. That could never be changed about you. And mostly I hope you can once accept your past as who you are. I know how much you are struggling with that, and I hope that doesn’t last forever. 

Finally, I just wish you well. Good luck in the rest of your life. I am forever grateful I got to spend a year by your side. Thank you. For everything.


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