Dear R,
I love you so much. I would move mountains for you. I want to spend hours analysing where it all went wrong so I never do it to you again.
I wish I had the chance to fix it. To change it. So it could go back to the way it was.
But, I don’t want it to go back to the way it was. I want it to be better. I’ve learned. I’m ready.
I’m so scared you don’t think the same. I know you probably don’t. 
You were the one person I felt most comfortable with. The one person I could tell everything. It breaks me to know that it wasn’t the same for you.
I believe it can be different. I just wish you could believe too. 
You have ruined my life, but you can fix it. Maybe “life” is a bit dramatic but that’s just me, I’m sorry.
I know what I did wrong. I will not do it again. I don’t hate you for what you did, I just wish you had told me sooner and not put me through the heartbreak. 
I still love you and I don’t know when I’ll stop.
J xx