I want to come home

I want to come home

I want to come home

I hope you have had a good celebration and an awesome weekend. I thought of asking you out many times but I think I would be the last person you would want to see. I took quite a bit of resistance and struggle not to send this out to you before your birthday. I want to give you the space that you need and I want to respect your boundaries. 

It’s been awhile since we split up. But I still think of you on a daily basis, and i have written you so many so many unsend messages. What could have been between us if things hadn’t turned out the way it did. What if we’d stuck it out and figured it out? What if I had made a greater effort to show you that I care? What would happen if it happened? Out of sight, out of memory is a popular saying to get over someone. But why am I not finding it to be so? I should have just been an adult and gotten over it, recognize that this is over and accept the fact.  But If I dare to love, I should also be brave to face the difficulties it brings. I love you, and that is enough to motivate me to make amends and work on myself to be a better person for you, for us. I want to create a future for you in which I can provide you with the happiness you deserve. There are so many words that I wanted to say to you, and things that I’ve changed that I wish you could see. Having you and Mia in my life was the best thing I ever could have dreamt of. You became my happy pill. I don’t know about you, but I survived through those difficult times because I told myself, those pain didn’t matter because you were around. You made it so easy for me to push the pain down as far as it could go, believing I could return to the person that I was before I had to say goodbyes to whatever that has made an absence that aches my heart. At one point of time, I really felt I belonged, like I finally found my forever home. Both you and Mia were the smell of love. 

I don’t dispute that there were issues between us. I’m kicking myself for not seeing things through your eyes in the heat of the moment. I am aware that I have caused you pain and many “never again” moments, and I sincerely apologize. Knowing how much suffering you’re in crushes my heart as well. It is undeniably difficult for you. There were things I could have done to help things between us go more smoothly. I’m well aware that I squandered those opportunities, and I could only blame myself for failing to seize them when those opportunities presented itself. You had great expectations, and I had unknowingly disappointed you. I just wanted to let you know, I hear you, I hear every word that you have ever said to me.  

When you choose to go away, I think I deserved the heartache. If I’d been harmed so badly, I’d do the same. You need to move away from me to get away from it all, and I completely understand. If that’s what you want, I’ll let you go, but not before I make an attempt to show my regret and love for you. I didn’t simply experience passionate feelings for you. I have adored you intentionally. I have adored you since I needed to spill out my friendship on you. Indeed, it began with fascination. Indeed, it began with reverence for the things you do and characteristics you have. But now I’ve fallen in love with you, it’s become second nature to me. Even if the attraction loosens up. Even when there isn’t much else to appreciate. Choosing to love you is a decision to win a fight. It entails deciding to accompany you to the finish line of a race. We won’t quit running for this race just because we grew weary and lost our motivation. That intense affection, the bond, the foundation we’ve created. They’re a worthwhile investment for us. They may say we should let it all go if we’re in so much pain, but I believe the best reason to cling on is love.

I am really sincere in making amends, and to have both of you back in my life. I will provide you with the three support pillars that you need, including financial support – I have been working very hard, so that we could have any penthouse that you dream of. I will devote my utmost commitment, both emotionally and physically. I am capable of taking care of you and Mia – you know that. Recently, a motivational speaker that my company hired said “Things will never stay the same, and if you hold on long enough, you will see the change”. It won’t be the same as before, it will be so much better. If you could just have a little more faith in me, in us, I will show you what I am capable of. I’m grateful that you found me previously, and I hope that you will find me again in your life. This time, if you allow, let me chase after you. Let me shower you with flowers and hearts and make you the happiest woman on earth. I really, really, really want to come home to the both of you. Would you give me this last chance to make things right?


Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.