Dear you,

I’ve remembered sitting in class in the very moment of thinking how my love life is complete garbage. I remembered how you would break your neck to stare at me. I never thought a handsome man like you, would ever like a woman like me. You made me feel like I was the only woman you want and sometimes I wish I can fancy that. Unfortunately these are not the circumstances considering now you’re saying you don’t even want  to see me. Calling me, “crazy.” The phrase, “it takes one to know one”, may be over played, but most definitely fits the shoe when it comes to you. 

I remembered when you looked at me like you want to devour my soul and your eyes pierced into mine. I knew at the very moment the way your eyes follow me, you wanted to romance me. It must of killed you inside now that your student visa expired and you got sent back. You argued with me that I’m not realistic but you and I both know how silly you reacted when we were around each other. Don’t get me wrong, I am in love with you still. Nothing in this world can somehow take away how I feel no matter how hard I try. Trust me, I tried to burn off this very slow poisoned emotions within. 

Everyday I tell myself I can love myself without having to love you. Without thinking we’d be married someday. I remembered when you told me you were “messed up” when you pour your emotions out onto me like orange juice in a glass. You are my very reason to why I question and analyze you at every second. I haven’t given up over you. I think I’d probably be married thinking of what would it be like. I’ve been in love and crushes many times and simply have a mellow light hearted memory over every guy. You though, something about your bitterness seems fake. I know you’re crying inside. You and I know how much you enjoy pushing people away. It’s easier for you. 

I have every single memory of your smile, your positive words, our photos, your body language and the look in those glistening eyes. I am pretty sure I love you more than any women in your life. I would probably be the one to buy you flower on our wedding day but knowing you, you’d say I am emasculating you. Baby, you know you’ll always be on top. Haha. I know in my heart if we were to get married, we will work on our flaws. I know you and I can make this world jealous. 

You said you want nothing to do with me but I know you were considering to see me but you’re putting on a front. You say I’m being crazy or psycho. But I do love you. I don’t think these feelings can be let go.