Dear Azka,

I know it’s late to write this but having a heavy heart, I wish you knew that ever since we broke up, I have been thinking about you every day of my life.

Things weren’t as bad as I perceived them to be. We made a great couple in so many ways – those early morning bike rides, those dances in the streets, those sunrises, those billion food plans, our Friday date nights, yoga classes, working together as the best partners and above all the most memorable trips we made – 6 trips in less than 2 years. 

Truth being told, I had never come across a person like you nor will I ever. The first few days of hanging out with you had me fall for you heads over heels, an instant connection that was simply electrifying. I remember how I ditched someone and put everything at stake to be with you simply because of how magical life seemed   when you were around. While I used to say that I felt weak around you, I now realize you were my greatest strength. You were there in my tough times, all the trials and tribulations I went through in my life, even after we broke up. I would never forget that.

I am writing this letter on this website to apologize to you from the bottom of my heart for not letting you and myself know how much I loved you and how miserable I feel everyday of my life to let you go. I still remember you whispering in my ear on that moonlit night that life is full of uncertainties and the best things come to us when we embrace them with open arms. 

I was a coward, I feared a bit too much, I was scared of the rainbow that was yet to appear after the dark clouds of rain. I messed up and I lost us – one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I wish I could go back and change things and have you back in my arms. I wish I can meet you this very moment and tell you how much you mean to me. I wish I could get another chance and turn things around for the better, for the best. 

As I write this letter on this website knowing that you may never read it, I wish and hope that I could meet you one more time, to put everything at stake once again and have you back in my life because you were right – “Hum ek baar jeetay hain, ek baar martay hain, shadi bhe ek baar kertay hain aur pyar bhe”. I am married now but I know how important of an ingredient is a “two-way love” in the most significant relationship of one’s life.

Deep inside I know I might never get another chance, I know someone much better than me would come your way and change everything around that I would be long forgotten. I also know that it would take moving mountains to get out of my current marriage and come find you but I might even do that – for the beautiful memories we made together and will always do if we are re-united.

If that doesn’t happen, however, I wish you well. Wherever you go, I want you to know that you deserve nothing but the best!

You were my best friend (“tum meri sab se achi dost thi”) and I still wish I could have you back.

Regret and Love, Ni de Bao Bei