Mamas R, or Rudy? I don’t really know where to start but I miss you asshole. I don’t know how we stopped talking again but just as I was adjusting or getting into you going off and on, First day back at the gym and you walked out on me immediately, I was second guessing my step and wondering if my mom was behind me but I have to admit I was frontin. I have impulsive urges or natural urges to hug you. I wondered what happened then. I was asking around to Cj and to Mondo what happened to you. I still haven’t found out. And that weak dab up and avoiding eye contact? Really? I finally understand how you felt when I didn’t kiss you at my grandmas.

But god your stupid smirk still gets me sometimes. I wanted to do so much more to you during that point, Ive been trying to get cj away from me before you got there so I would be alone. I have so many things saved up from the last time i saw you and I keep revolting to what I once knew. But usually I’d go back to a state of mind where i can’t stop thinking of you, you can’t get out of my head. I’m more desperate than one of your hoes in your dms.

It ain’t funny. I go back to when I jumped sps fence just to see you, our hug, your squeeze. I feel like I didn’t give you enough time at willacy or to give you a better hug than what you got and I regret it. I regret everything single thing I’ve done to make your life distant from mine but hey people do crazy stuff when they’re in love. I honestly wouldn’t change it for the world. I love you and I always will. You’re my twin flame. My inspiration at times. You’re still my everything, I’m sorry you have to hear me and see run though so many guys tho, they’ll never be you. I wonder if you’re anything but horny at times, I wonder if you actually still feel love for me cause I owe you a lot and not just sexual temptation. Actual love. ha