Hey M, 

Tomorrow is your birthday. The first one in seven years that we won’t be celebrating together. 

I would be lying if I said it wasn’t destroying me. You are right down the road, I could literally walk there, but I can’t. I could text you, but I know that doing so would only hurt me further. 

I really wish it didn’t end like this. I know why you made the decisions you did, but a part of me wishes you hadn’t. A part of me still sees you as the girl I met in high school with a giant smile and fearlessness. Knowing how broken you are now, and how you make decisions to please other people makes me so upset. You will always be the first love of my life, but the person you are now is not. 

I hope that this year you chose yourself and you chose your happiness. I hope that you surround yourself with people that make you feel safe and that you finally get the courage to come out. I hope that you finally live the truth, instead of the lie we lived together. 

Happy birthday, M.