How can i forget u ? How can i just remove all the smiles and the giggles , how can i just take u off my mind 
I know 
Im stupid 
Maybe hysterical for all i did and all the feeling i got 
I would do anything for another day with you 
For a day where it would have just got to known u 
But thats all a fantasy 
In a perfect world…. 
Where u didn’t lie 
Were u did tell me all u felt 
Were  i didn’t feel used 
Where i actually felt valuable 
Were i knew i meant something 
I’m not that kind of girl… but for u i would have been just for u
and i hate myself for it its not fair 
Mot not not not fair i hate hate it
Ik i’m just a kid and learning how to grow up and how to understand it but god 
I’m starting to hate every single bit of meeting u 
All the lies 
All my time wasted 
All my own self wasted for u.
Not for a thank u not for anything 
I was just the stand by for u 
How could i have been so naive 
How did i let myself fall for it its so stupid seeing u with another person actually enraged me why would it ?
We are just friends? No, we aren’t , we were just two strangers that met each other 
and i wish i could erase everything u did 
Ur touch ur stupid smile and i hate how i can remember every single digital about u 
All my time and effort into u
Always looking forward being next to u but it was down a one way street. I can’t even believe it on myself. Why why why why goes through my mind i never meant anything to u and it was shown. I knew what u were before i met u i wish i could just go back and change everything i did all i did for u all the tears blood i dripped for u , for a week less than a week gosh how can i be so fucking stupid i cannot even comprehend it why would i ever let myself do that 
U really taught me 
Shit i fell for it 
I fell for that stupid smile 
I fell for all the shit u did 
I would change my plans for urs if u asked i would be her for u i would change myself for u but u wouldn’t do the same and its fine it is what it is isn’t it ? 
Thats what i keep repeating myself but why did u hurt so much why did I actually expect a response from u gosh 
Why was i so naive stupid 
To actually believe we will be kept in contact gosh why
Am i so naive 
I wish i wasn’t 
I wish i didn’t care 
But fuck i do so bad the amount of time and energy i put to u 
I look for that text message snap or instagram real anything from u 
But nothing seems as like i got digger back i cant get over it i cant 
I remember everything about u 
I can tell u exactly how ur eyes looked all the time what type of hair color u had ur voice ur movements everything but could u ? No u couldn’t I actually got myself in trouble there, i don’t care but my heart cares fuck why am i even like this i cant stand it 
Why did u lie ? 
It wasn’t special 
We weren’t a forever we were a see ya later 
But soon it turned into a disappearing mess that i cant put myself through 
Throughout all those mesmerizing eyes u had and how u knew how to communicate shoot i cant 
I just wish u wanted me how i wanted u 
Not in a physical way 
More in a connection wise 
Why would i ever let myself fall for u 
I cant even believe myself right now 
Like i hate u for what u did but i cant hate a souls i loved 
Cant actually be mad at u for doing u 
Can only be mad at me for playing that game
Like gosh
Not even listening to the shit i did for u what happened to us being friends
I cant even love you 
U changed my whole perspective of you , you ruined urself to my eyes 
I don’t wanna be your friend
But i know if u needed anything i would be there in a heartbeat and it makes me so sad because i know it wouldn’t be the same 
In a room gull of people i would pick u, i would wish to be with u for as long as i’ve got but u don’t , and thats something i respect the self care you got , never felt the need to be more than enough for someone i cannot even express how much u did mean to me fuck i wish I didn’t even met u. I wish i stayed home i wish i stayed back 
I wish i didn’t have to talk to u 
Have even is it going to work ? 
How would it have been 
Idkt but i would have pit everything for u 
And for u only, it makes me shatter
WHY DID U LIE 
U lied u lied so much are u even who i think u are i don’t know anymore u just keep showing me that i’m wrong step by step i ask u to check up and tell me ab your flight but u cant even do it thats crazy for me to say and to understand and for u to act like nothing ever happened , i wish u actually would realize the type of people u have gotten 
I look for u 
Even with my eyes full of tears i wish you the best.