Well, it happened, I got temporarily disconnected. This will test your skills as a “computer guy” for sure…. Hehehe….. Where did I leave off? I think it was part 6….. Lol, when I get back onto that account then I post part 7…… But…… you haven’t found this yet….. LMAO, that would be so funny…. I’m already making this complicated, but don’t lie Boo… I know you like my “weirdness” and how I like to post letters to you in so many random and meaningless ways. But you LOVE IT!
I live for this stuff! You give me that rush!…. You’re my little secret….. I hope you find this in good spirits. May my weird continuation bring you a short lived jolt of energy and excitement. Always think of me when you find me here….. Again, and again and again……
Moving on now……
I love you……
Okay, okay, I just had to say that first….. Now here we go….
Ugh, new stuff, new chapter, new adulting moments… Stuff I thought I would never do alone, yet I still have many experiences that way. Quite odd how I find myself in that predicament. I like that word lately. I rarely use it, but it rings nice……… Predicament. Maybe I should look more into its origins…
Dad does this to me a lot. He wants me to be honest with you now… He was the one that helped me the most try to understand what this is I’m trying to explain to you… My Dad was a very weird person…. Now, you kinda see where I get it from, and…. Mom…. Even the other Boo says, I am very much like her too after he watches us together and how we just “know things” and talk about philosophy all day for fun. Dad is always in the conversations. It’s hard to explain, but I don’t miss him like I used to when he first died. It was very weird because we study the Bible and talk about God as a daily conversation. There was always a sermon playing in the background or on TV. Then I got into death and dying because he was diagnosed with cancer when I was in high school. I was looking for every treatment you could find, even therapy about dying. Not just hospice, but like a spiritual push into preparing yourself to die so you won’t be afraid…. I never wanted my Dad to be scared when it was time and that was one thing we brought up a lot and I cried in front of him. Because I knew he was pretending because he is my Dad. No man wants his child to see him actually afraid of anything, but I knew about his PTSD. He had it very bad when he came back from War, my Mom told me he was dangerous and needed help because he would snap in his sleep and go into a fight and flight mode when we were young.
That’s neither here nor there. He isn’t that person, that was an addiction to hide behind his masks. But my father was always drawn to the Lord, the Bible, Prophecy, Miracles, Supernatural occurrences, he wanted me to be ready just as much as he is and teach me right from wrong to abide by God. So much to the point, he really wanted me to lead worship. Push me to want to be in music on stage like he was in church. He was painting me into a person he wished for himself and tried to live his dreams through me. I want too, in some odd way, I feel drawn to it now. I get what he was led to do by spirit and now they are doing the same thing to me. I’m just following what they are showing me to do now…. (slowly but surely explaining my testimony the best I can.)
I sure did a good job at being the opposite and so did he and we argued about that like a married couple. My Dad spoke to me like a teacher/student, sometimes it felt like he was my Dad, but most of the time, he was more like my mentor. The love behind our connection was dilluted with toxic family dynamics and learned behaviors. God led him to study psychology after he went through his divorce, in order to grow from his experiences and to help others get out of their problems, but he also felt drawn to the biblical meanings behind why we act a certain way, based on learned behaviors from past childhood trauma and your walk in the spiritual path of living life. Viewing life in the perspective that there is something greater being served and in the end, the suffering meant something, that something was learned and gained from that negative experience. There is a spiritual evolvement and reasoning that places you on your divine path back to the one feeling we all seek and feel the most lack from.
My Dad is the one pushing me to write. I never wanted to do this. This is him helping me reach out to You….. You are Me…. It’s weird…. Again, ugh….. Your higher self hangs out with the both of us and we talk about this stuff…… All……. The……. Time…….
He picked you! He told me…..
The day I felt ready to put myself out there again, I always go on my long walks by Rio Salado Pathway at night. I didn’t know at the time, when I think in my head, I get responses right away. I rarely have time to even think up a response to my questions, they are just answered and I keep having this random conversation with the person I missed the most…. Dad.
He told me it was time to look and I suggested I wait until after I finish my last class before I graduated. Then I would be more committed to meeting someone and giving them my full attention. My Mom helped me with taking pictures and I specifically was led to the site I found you on.
Upon scrolling, I would share out loud my opinions as I’m looking at pictures by myself. I see yours.
Me: Pineapple Hunk…..? Huh, let’s check this out, it says CHUNK NOT HUNK!
Thoughts: Hey, don’t just ignore it, click on it and read what he has to say.
Me: Is he Mexican?
Thoughts: No, don’t judge a book by its cover.
Me: He’s old, I want kids. I already dated older and it didn’t work out.
Thoughts: look harder
Me: Lol, okay, well I mean, he seems unhappy, his pictures show another side.
Thoughts: Look harder
Me: Okay, I don’t normally find someone like him attractive, but I do see his eyes are soft. I can tell he is hurting inside. He does seem like he can be a good man. I don’t know. What would I even message him?!
Thoughts: Just think about it.
Me: I’ll give it a day, but I’m not promising anything.
Thoughts: Hey, it’s tomorrow!
Me: Okay, let me look again. Pineapple….
Thoughts: Hey, me over here! Hunk remember?! Tell him you think it’s RAD! He will like that.
Me: So, I’m going to write how I caught onto his name and didn’t see the “C”…. Okay.
Thoughts: No! Don’t be so complicated, use Hunk, be simple.
Me: Omg, okay, (writing something like this) “Hey, I thought your name said Pineapple Hunk, but it says Pineapple Chunk. I just wanted to say I think the first way I saw it was RAD…”
I don’t remember……
Thoughts: Okay, now we wait.
Few dates go by…..
I’m really happy with how this is going, but I can’t tell him what my mind was showing me. Then I had super vivid dreams when I met him, I did tell him those things happened with me. Then I had more experiences when we were going to church and prayed together. That was a good sign. So my mind was preparing me for the inevitable…….
So, being 8 years ago since I last saw him, this is all just old news collecting cobwebs, but I’m doing my best here to try and type this sucker up for you as I remember my past….
When I was 19, Suz, Ron and I were dining in at a Mexican Restaurant in Williams, Az. This is the weird part where Suz will only blurt out things when she is told to tell me something. She stops and says,
“Now Tina, this is very important and I need you to listen to me, because I’m getting this right now and I’m only going to say this once. You must take this seriously! There will come a time where you will meet a man. He will be born and from another country, have a darker complection, maybe Asian, he will wear glasses and be very good at computers and writing, you will fall in love and get married before you turn 27 and have one child before. A boy. You will be married for a little over a year and get a divorce, but you will not know the reason why, and you are not supposed to know till later on. When you are in your mid to late 30’s, this man will return and you will have a choice to make, either to continue that path with them or move on and learn your lesson. Now, I just told you something that is about your future, and you can share this information with anyone, but if you do, then you will face the consequences of sharing what should be unknown, but David wanted me to tell you and so I am….. If you do tell the person you are with, you can change your whole life and you may or may not be okay with the new lessons that come from doing that. You have free will to do what you please. Okay, now I’m eating, I’m done talking about it. Moving on.”
When I met him, I remembered what Suz said and I told that guy…. I did change our outcome. I’m sorry for…… I don’t know, because I changed our story. So, I really don’t know what to say to take back the time I took to intervene with the trajectory of our whole purpose of being here to begin with.
So, between knowing this when I was 19, then my Dad preparing me to be some form of minister’s wife…. My thoughts told me that “Boo” is this personality that’s been with me my whole life, having these conversations in my mind as I go on my walks. I came up with the name “Boo” because I heard lyrics of a song when I was in high school. I really wanted a boyfriend and when I heard someone call their boyfriend “Boo”, I really wanted that for myself……. I wanted someone to…..
“Always be my Boo”
So, my thoughts told me, that is what “HE” is and he was going to help me find him, but I needed to be patient. I was told to start writing my thoughts when I wanted to spend time with someone. They said to write to myself as if I am reading the most engaging letter from my own boyfriend. So I wrote back to the voice in my head as if he was already here.
Boo told me all the things he was going to like. He mentioned he was going to be very much like Dad and when I kept being drawn back to that silly name I mistakenly read as Hunk. It was his eyes that caught my attention the most. I’ve been able to know about all my intimate relationships on a psychic level. Most my exes can vogue for me and share my “spooky experiences” just the way I act on a daily basis and when you meet my Mom….
It says it all…. We are just spiritual.
I talk about God in my head all freaking day long. I get sick and tired of it that I argue!
I didn’t go to Bible College! I didn’t want to! I didn’t want to graduate from a Christian University. I told you I fell into the whole thing because of Dee! I didn’t even practice my song and I was accepted right away. I just went along with it. The whole time I was there, I was forced to learn more about GOD! Then Dad was GONE! Then Dad came back!
Then you showed up!
It’s all a lot to take in for me, but I wasn’t allowed to tell you! The 3D YOU! OR I would mess it up….
Mess what up?! I didn’t know, but now with more “knowledge” of this collective story plot we have ungracefully followed into…. Ugh….. I’m so over it! Come on already…. You menitioned, “Shit or get off the pot.” I saw that… I really want to get off now….. It really smells over here….. Of your Bullshit….. But I digress…. I am taking my emotions out of this…. God, this is so hard…….. Boo, why must you be so complicated in nature just as I am….. We are all the same and then some…..
I really got nothin to hide. I still can’t believe I have lived this long with all my crazy stories getting into spiritual trouble with Witches, Wizards, Warlocks, Lower Vibrational Beings in general…. I don’t have a normal life when I wake up. I have meetings with spirits all day long and I don’t know how to shut it off….
Suz showed up to protect me and teach me how to work with this gift I am now figuring out how it actually all happens.
Boo, I really don’t understand why you show up in spirit. I yell at you because of it and I just want you to find your way back. That’s what you keep telling me!
When I finally found you, I really knew it was you when I read your letter back to me. THat was when that voice I call “Boo” he told me that I found you,…. I heard carnival bells going off….. Ding, ding, ding, ding…… this was after I was reading your words…. Then I I hear them again when you were in my presence or even in my thoughts, just the thought of you makes me so happy inside…. It’s really hard to explain, but very enticing, exotic, different, energetic and calming all at the same time. If I was a puppy, you would see my tail wagging all day long!
Your higher self reminds me to,
“Keep writing, but you can’t tell me yet. I will not be honest with you. I have lessons to learn and I am lying about being close to God. I need you to help steer me back to looking back towards God again.”
This was when we were going to Sedona to visit that one church and we stopped by a crystal shop for tarot readings and I saw (him) buy himself crystals.
Your higher self talking to me:
“I’m not going to be doing anything good when I go home. I’m not single, I’m not honest, but you will help me understand what I need to do. I’m going to break up with you soon, but don’t forget to enjoy the time we have now. You have to move north and be a teacher, start your career, learn about life, learn about God and write about that. Someday I will read about it and it will eventually help me remember.”
So, Boo told me in a funny analogy. His “Higher Self” is stuck with me to leave me clues for “Myself” (Him) to grow from after he tells me to go “Grow” myself by leaving and breaking up.
Yeah, it’s already complicated, but you get what I’m sayin….. So, for 8 years, we’ve been running and chasing and having these random dreams doing just that…. Rehashing, explaining, learning about God, talking to my Dad, talking to God, Yelling with Suz trying to talk to both of us….
Boo…. I can’t make this up…. I mean, well, I can, but that’s pretty impressive….. The fact that I’m still “NORMAL” when you look at me, but inside my head while I’m at work doing random stuff, I’m with you talking about…..
Esoteric Origins of Christianity
HIstory and Archeology that proves God and Aliens!
Yeah, I have a lot to write about, but it’s so much easier to just keep it all in my head, we talk about so many things…. Things, I just can’t say I even know the information about, but you and my Dad make sure to tell me and it gets you really geared up….
Boo! This stuff brings you to life!
I watched it bring you to me. Ever since I met Suz and she showed me all the stuff happening in my reality is the universe communicating with me and that I’m not making any of it up. I’m not crazy either.
Well, that’s a lot to take in for being a long pause between messages.
I’m trying here Boo………………I’m DOING! Lol
I don’t really know where to go from here with all this information, but it’s here to remind you what you asked me for. I can’t choose for you. I have my back up plans already made up and I have more than one exit out, but the coolest part about all of this…… I still get to ascend to heaven, I passed my test! I wished that didn’t upset you so much, I really thought you were on a path of light when I met you. Now, I see what you were saying earlier. It does not scare me away from you one bit. You can’t take away all the good you have done for me beyond reading this. You simply will not understand, because I am with your “enlightened self” I am trying to remind you of your true nature. Your true purpose and you have fallen from grace. Let go of the 3rd dimensional perspective about life, stop being so materialistic. Easier said than done.
I never had that luxury, so I can’t really comment. I’ve only been allowed phases of abundance, but I’ve never truly experienced living a financially comfortable life like you have. God has prepared me to be ready in other ways the lessons I was given when I started my journey away from you.
There’s no rush to anything, this is just meaningless typing on my end. If you find it, then cool! Great! I’m hoping what you read will lead you to some place of “growth” on your end, even if it means you grow further and farther away from me….. Doesn’t change my reality one bit…. You’re still around. Even when I don’t want you to be… Kinda comforting and kinda annoying, but I love you all the same.
Till next time, this was “actually” fun!
Have a goodnight Boo,