I’m lost in a sea of my own emotions and navigating them can be a task. I often find solace in seeking out others who have had similar experiences and hear them talk about their emotions. I heard someone say today that we can fall in love with our pain. And by pain, I mean the pain over loss or heartbreak. 
Now that I cannot love you, I cling to my pain as a way to keep you close. I have built a shrine around my pain because it is the last thing that I have from you. I am afraid if I let go of my pain, I must let go of you completely. And as an extension, losing the closest thing I have to falling in love with someone. If I let go of this pain, I lose so much of myself in the process. 
Very recently, I came very close to letting you go, but as I felt the pain slip away, I was terrified. I know I need to bury my pain eventually, so that I can love someone else. But I’m not ready yet. 
I’m too afraid of what I’ll lose. I’m stuck in this limbo, between my pain and my fear. I don’t know how to move forward, and I don’t know how to let go.