W,
I’m writing this letter to say I’m sorry I was so scared of falling in love. You were honestly nothing short of a perfect boyfriend with so many amazing qualities. I hope I didn’t blindside you too much before breaking up with you, I just wasn’t ready. Everything happened so much faster than I expected it would and I got scared of everything. It was overwhelming and instead of talking to you about it, I thought everything would work out on its own (which is stupid.) I thought I was too busy for having a boyfriend but that wasn’t true you can make it work if you truly make the time for it which I did not really do. I made so many mistakes in this relationship that you did not deserve and I want to say sorry because I didn’t treat you nearly as well as you treated me or like I should have which I think I will always feel guilty about.

I’ve been wondering recently if this all happened a year from now if it would have worked out better and I wouldn’t feel like a bad person. Still writing this I don’t regret breaking up with you because I think it was the best decision for me with where I am in my life. There were too many signs that I was not ready to be in a relationship and it was best for me and you if we weren’t together anymore. But writing that, I feel a little tug at my heart that what if I didn’t. I spend far too many minutes thinking about the way you looked at me and the beautiful look in your eyes and the way you would hold my hand or text me at any moment during the day. The little things were the most beautiful and I did not expect to ever be treated the way you treated me because I wasn’t sure if I deserved it.   

because I never said this,
love you,
S