Dear my incredible, kind, loving and thoughtful ex boyfriend,

You were the best thing to have ever happened to me. I didn’t truly know what pain was until I lost you. You made me happy. Happier than I ever been in my entire existence. You ignited a flame in me that will stay lit for you, for eternity. You stayed in my life for 1 year, 6 months and 22 days but it honestly felt like I had known you my entire life. You understood me on the deepest possible level. You were always there for me, no matter how hard it was for you. You tried to stay in my life for as long as you possibly could, but I understand that you had to leave. You had to put yourself first. I was no good for you. I hurt you and I destroyed your life because of my sadness, my emptiness, my pain and my depression.

It felt as if the whole universe was against us but I really wish I had fought harder for you. I wish I could be with you right now. I wish I could hear your soothing, calming voice to make me feel better. The long conversations I had with you until 2am. I wish I could go back in time and mend things. I wish I could absorb all of your pain and let you be happy again. There is no one in this life that I love (or will ever love) more than I love you. I wish I could repair things. I would do it right this time, I would give you all of my love, properly. I would never, ever do the things that I did. 

You were the best boyfriend this world has to offer and I think about you every single day. Every single night. I think of all of the things that we could have been. A family. I wanted my children to have your ocean blue eyes. They truly are the most beautiful eyes I have ever looked into. We were made for eachother and it pains me that its come to this.

I pray that I find you again one day. I pray that we can give it one last shot. I pray that you heal and that you forgive me for the person that I became in the last few months. I will pray for you, every day and every night. There is nobody else I want in this world and I will wait an entire lifetime to be with you.

Please come back to me when the time is right. Please, please come back. 

I love you. I wish you happiness.