What I honestly wish I told you was thanks but no thanks… the day I met you… when you hit on me even though you were engaged… I should have said something sarcastic about how “lucky” your fiancee was to have such a “devoted” man in her life and then walked away…but I didn’t and 5 incredibly passionate, sex-filled, tear-streaked and at times suffocatingly & devastatingly lonely years later I finally realized that I am worth so much more than being someone’s secret, just some side piece you wanted to hide from the world.

For a while it was beautiful. then your fiancee dumped you, I was passed over / replaced by your ex-wife. all the intimacy the the desire the kindness lust your sweetness the way you would hold me and talk to me, telling me that I was the most amazing person in the world and the sexiest person in the universe.. I won’t be downgraded and I won’t go backwards I know who I am and what I’m worth. I deserve a real relationship with someone who is happy to see me all the time and wants to spend time with me. I wish you well but there’s a part of me that wishes you would go to hell.

I will always love you I will always want you I’m growing though and I hope you are as well I am forever grateful that you came into my life I experienced a level of love that I didn’t even know existed. I hate missing you I only want to be kissing you and touching you. I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again I’m okay with it right now I wasn’t for a long time.
thanks for letting me get this off of my chest, where there’s a big hole where my heart used to be.