Hi, ghost. I started to lose count on how many days we have been living separately from each other. But I’m glad we are still friends, like we used to be. You are my best friend, my smoking buddy and my love. To be honest, it’s hard to move on. But there is nothing we can do, the damage is done. We are great as friends, but terrible in relationship. We hurt each other and this love – it feels like we were both drowning in this pool of darkness. How I wish we never confessed, how I wish we are still best friend, how I wish this break up never happens. But that’s how life works.

And then, there is this guy, a friend of mine since college, been liking me for years. So last few days, he proposed to me. And I……….cried. And I keep telling my friends that I’m crying for nothing, but deep inside, I knew the reason why. I can’t move on and I’m not ready to settle down with anyone. After the break up, I can’t seem to open up, or committing to any commitment. I don’t know what went wrong. I don’t know why.

I am still hopelessly in love with you, Ghost. I hope someday I could find a guy that makes me love him as much as I love you. And no matter where you are, just know this, you will always have a special place in my heart, be it as my lover, or my best friend.

Love,
D