Marlene, I’m sorry for everything that happened both during and after the breakup. I feel so much pain and guilt, that I was responsible for you feeling all alone. My problems, that I should’ve face through therapy, long ago, eventually crept its way in to our relationship and destroyed it, leaving you to blame yourself. My Insecurity to speak out and communicate has caused the loss of my best friend and most importantly my girlfriend. I had so much fear for our future and so much insecurity about my problems, that I put running from those problems, before our relationship, before us. I totally left you alone to face your emotions and left your questions unanswered. I pushed you to the point you are at now. Marlene, I know there isn’t anything I can say or do that will change the past or fix the pain I caused. I know its too late for anything to change but all I want you to know is that I understand. It took me a while to, but I do. During the couple weeks where I didn’t communicate, you took that as me moving on because I couldn’t give you an answer, for reasons you didn’t know until later. That’s why you said things like “I wouldn’t be surprised to see you hanging out with girls” because you feared and believed that was going to happen. When you thought I was moving on, you had no choice but to do that yourself. Then when I wanted to fix things a few weeks after our breakup, it really was too late. It really was just a big misunderstanding, but it was caused by a lack of communication on my part, something I cant just blame on you or my depression, I need to take responsibility even when I’m going through difficult times. I have learned a lot through therapy and a lot through these past months, I can’t hate you or blame you. From what I understand you are happier now. Maybe it was all a blessing in disguise, something you are glad happened. I wish you all the best, you deserved better.
To my dear, Marlene. I still miss you. I still love you. Goodbye