Wish I could return to the start

Wish I could return to the start

Wish I could return to the start

Dear M

We met out of the blue in a nightclub. You got your friend to come over and bring me to you. It was so surreal – a gorgeous young woman wants me. We spent the night together and I thought it would be just a fling, so imagine my surprise when you asked me to walk you home the next morning and started holding my hand. We met up more times, during which you introduced me to your friends and your family. Unfortunately, I had to leave the country to work for 2 years in the UK, but we were keen to make it work as your country was not so far away.

So over the 1.5 years of our long-distance relationship, we would sporadically visit each other and shower each other with gifts and affection. Although we had great chemistry together, we were incompatible in life values and goals. Towards the end of our doomed relationship, we became increasingly distracted and distant – we both knew that sooner or later, I had to leave to go back to my home country of Australia. Nonetheless, we planned a trip to Japan together already and we tried our best to enjoy it.

The last time I physically saw you, I had to leave for the airport earlier and you sat up in your bed, naked, giving me a sad smile. You broke up with me shortly after via Skype.

4 months later, I finally land a job that gave me the possibility of working remotely from another country – I was hoping yours. Although you were enthusiastic about the idea at first (giving me a lot of false hope in the meantime), by this time your feelings for me have fizzled and you were no longer attracted to me. This is perhaps a cosmic joke played on us by a higher power – we finally have an opportunity to live together, only 5 months too late. And now, I’m still hurting as I have cut off all contact with you prior to this new job. I wish I would have found this new job earlier.

Our break-up is the worst feeling I have ever experienced, and the second rejection of me is a close second. Will I ever find someone else? I hope so. But right now, I’m still reeling from our fate. I wish I could return to June 2013, and make it all work.




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