You’re in break-up hell. Life sucks. You’re crying all the time. You’re existing pretty much on toast and you’d do anything – but anything – to feel better. Do you a) distract yourself with Mad Men marathons on Netflix, b) stalk your ex on Facebook 24/7 or c) talk to friends about your ex, talk to family about your ex, talk to your parrot about your ex, and write letters to your ex?
If you answered a), respect. Mad Men is awesome. Those of you who chose b) should probably seek therapy. Those who went straight to c), though, could well be skipping out of Break-Up Town early, if a Northwestern University study earlier this year is anything to go by.
A researcher studying heartbreak wondered if by asking students to rehash their break-up pain, she was actually hindering their recovery. So she tested her theory with two groups – one which answered two surveys (one at the start of the study and one at the end) and a second group which came into the lab regularly to answer questions about their break-up over a nine week period. The lab rats were better off, according to the study, because talking about their break-ups had helped them process it faster, feel less lonely and get used to their idea of themselves as single people.
The moral of the story, kids? Write letters. Chew the ear off your mates. Talk it out. Hug it out. And before you know it, you’ll probably be feeling a whole lot better.
Do you agree? Does focussing on break-ups help you get over it quicker, or just drag you down more? I’d love to hear your opinion in the comments.
Yes, I totally agree that one should get this break up shit off of their chest. And I totally thank you for this website! Heart break is a b*tch lol
Totally agree!!! I got over mine by participating in online support groups and writing here and there and everywhere!! Now I’m over the bastard! But heartbreak do really sucks, hope that whoever is going through this right now will get over it soon. Life goes on and you might feel suicidal now, but nothing lasts forever… not your pain, not his happiness.
Absolutely! Nothing lasts forever! I myself thought that the bastard ex was it, but he was the one who ended it. Soon his ‘happiness’ will also end, because this world is finite. Even mountains and landscapes get shaped and demolished. Nothing lasts forever…
I’m wallowing at the moment, although I’ve little control over it.
My eyes keep crying, my heart keeps sinking.
Anyway, I believe it’s like a bereavement, and talking about it helps.
what does M stand for?
Thank you Rachel for having this website. I just had a break up with my first boyfriend who I found out what cheating much of our 6 month relationship. It sucks to put your self out there so nakedly and to be stomped on like that. The sad part is he probably doesn’t care and doesn’t have a desire to change. I’ve been crying a lot and talking with my friends and every day I get a little stronger. Writing the letter really helped. Thank you again!