Thank you for leading me to my happiness

Thank you for leading me to my happiness

Thank you for leading me to my happiness

I gave you everything. literally EVERYTHING. My money, my time, my life…. but none of that was worth it. You lied to me about what our relationship would be like. You said you’d never hurt me, that you’d always care for me, that you’d never let me down. You failed to mention that you were a pill-popping drug addict whose habit was more important than the person trying to help you overcome it. You called me fat, you called me stupid, you called me unmentionable names, you raped me, you hit me, you beat me down until I felt worthless. I lost everything because of you and your habit. I still haven’t regained the same friendships I once had, I missed out on the last couple months of my grandfather’s life because of you. They say forgiveness will help you heal but I don’t see how I could ever forgive you for anything you’ve done. I used to think the women that stayed in those relationships were stupid and deserved everything they got because they knew what the other person was like. But now I understand. You stay because you want them to change and be the person they tricked you into falling in love with. I have some many issues now because of you. My depression is out of control, I’m anxious all the time, anytime someone makes a move too fast near me I flinch  and drop to the floor in fear of being hit. I’m scared you’re stalking me and will randomly show up at my job to harass me. I’m scared living in my own house because you know where I live and who knows if you’ll randomly decide to show up one day. Do you have any idea what I have to deal with on a daily basis???? I’m glad my friends and family accepted me back into their lives because without them I’d be 6 feet under right now. I’m glad I left you because if I hadn’t I never would’ve met the man of my dreams. He’s shown me what true love is like. He calls me beautiful everyday, he’s there for me whenever I need him no matter what, I can cry on his shoulder and he’ll listen and let me vent my frustrations with the life I can’t handle anymore. He’s proud to call me his not because I’m pretty or do everything for him but because I’m a genuinely good person who loves him, every little piece of him and I always will. I show him I love and appreciate him every day. We talk to each other as equals, I can tell him anything and know he won’t judge me, I know he’d fight for me, I know he chooses me. So thank you for being a selfish, low-life, worthless, piece of sh*t, pill popping, moocher because if you weren’t the pathetically sad person you are, I never would’ve found the man I’m meant to be with. I never would’ve built myself back up to where I was, I never would’ve known how strong I can truly be, I never would’ve found true peace and happiness. So thanks and I hope you’re found rotting in some ditch because you deserve a fate worse than death for what you put me through. I hope it hurts as much as you hurt me and I hope you never get to know what happiness feels like so you can lead an empty, hollow, pitiful life. Because that is what you deserve.

1 Comment

  1. Zuzi 7 years ago

    It reads like you still love him. Or you should, because you shouldn’t hate him. Hate is not the opposite of love.
    Peace…

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